Archive for the ‘General Awfulness’ Category

Sam Gagner back when he still had a whole face

Sam Gagner back when he still had a whole face

This year’s preseason injury report is taking a new form, and we’re introducing a new term. Much like the Montoya Line is the standard for average goaltending against which all other goaltenders are measured, the Gagner is the standard for hurlworthy injuries against which all other injuries will now be measured.

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History has been made. Today is a day that will go down in infamy. Other platitudes that people say when important things happen. We have officially seen the first inter-sport trade. Steve Nash has been traded to the LA Kings. What, you don’t believe me? It was on TV, it must be true. Not only was it on TV, it was on the Toronto-based, 24-hour news channel CP24, obviously the most reliable name in news. “But Jake,” I hear you saying, “this makes absolutely no sense. What kind of blog post is this?” To which I say, “pish posh, this is a blog post reminiscent of the great Cronkite blogs during the war.”

Seriously, it happened. Look

(Credit: @MRichie_10)

Personally, I can’t wait to see what this trade will do for the Stanley Cup champs. They’re already so strong in their front six and you have to figure that Nash will just add even more depth. I can’t wait to see Anze Kopitar spread the ice, taking stretch passes from Nash. And for all those scrambles in front of the net, Nash’s soccer skills could definitely come in handy. Skate to stick will never have seemed so fluid, so smooth, so Nash.

In a way, this could mean big things for the NHL and its future success in America. In another, more accurate way, this means nothing and is stupid. Clean it up, CP24.

In other news, I really want to know if they ever found that man they sought in that high-speed chase. North York is both too fast and too furious.

Earlier today, Timothy Burke (AKA @bubbaprog on Twitter) of Deadspin and All Things Hilarious in Sports posted a video of the debacle that has been Marc-Andre Fleury’s attempt at goaltending so far in the 2011-2012 playoffs. It really hasn’t been very good.

Here at theScore we’ve also noticed that Ilya Bryzgalov has been just a touch suspect in the other net too. Luckily for him, an offense that averages almost seven goals-per-game could have Darren Pang in net and still win. Hell, even Michael Leighton could win with that support. Or Brian Boucher. Or Roman Cechmanek. Or Robert Esche. Or….(stop me when you get the joke).

If we may add to the bad goaltending montages out there, here’s Ilya Bryzgalov giving up 12 goals in three games, en route to his flawless 3-0 record.

Four against per game. That’s why they paid him the big bucks!

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