A bloodied Lars Eller leaves the Bell Centre via stretcher
The first round of the playoffs are grinding along towards completion, and already there are more players done for the season than you can count on one hand. A lot of these aren’t your typical playoff injuries either – this year isn’t the usual rash of “Oh he’s so brave, he played through a broken finger/sore back/whatever!” This year we’ve got broken faces, missing teeth, and starting goaltenders done for the duration. And there’s still three more rounds to go. For some teams, anyway.
Some people are more squeamish than others, so we thought we’d give you the option. You don’t have to watch. But I would. And actually, it’s probably too late, given that these words are below the .GIF.
The NHL has a long storied history of dirtbags, and Down Goes Brown wrote a delightful post for Grantland outlining the dirtbaggiest dirtbags, and their many transgressions. What a rich treasure trove of bad behaviour and ugly injuries! Thus was born a series of Quiet Room posts exploring the worst of the injuries handed out by the worst of the dirtbags in their most inglourious moments.
Patrick Kaleta delivers a gentle love-tap to Brad Richards.
Patrick Kaleta attempted to decapitate Brad Richards over the weekend with a shove from behind into the boards. Amazingly Richards didn’t die. He did lie on the ice for several minutes not moving his arms and wearing an agonized facial expression. While Kaleta apologists continue to insist this was a FIFA-style dive, anyone who’s ever had a stinger is offering up a hearty bird-flip at that suggestion.
If you thought it was tough to determine intent on the Hansen/Hossa play, good luck with this one.
Ross Johnston of the Moncton Wildcats is battling with Brian Lovell of the Halifax Mooseheads when his stick somehow gets wedged between the glass and the divider.
With Lovell down but rising, Johnston summons the strength of Arthur pulling Excalibur from The Stone, and wrenches his stick free. And it comes out hot. With a baseball swing motion, he clubs Lovell across the face, promptly breaking his jaw.
There wasn’t a penalty on the play, but he’s since been suspended indefinitely while the league reviews the play.
That is either terrible luck, or terribly violent. I have no idea.
While Marc Savard (allegedly) found him delicious, Dan Carcillo is unlikely to do any biting of his own as he has a total of approximately three teeth.
The human mouth is a filthy, filthy place. So is a hockey player once they’re more than a few minutes into a game, and the combination of the two is a not-uncommon occurrence in the NHL. Mikhail Grabovski’s (alleged) biting of Max Pacioretty’s arm, Alex Burrows’ (obvious) biting of Patrice Bergeron’s finger, Marc Savard’s (repeated) biting of everyone’s everything, and countless other incidents of mouth versus body part have grossed us all out year after year.