Archive for the ‘General Ouchiness’ Category

The Quiet Room: Playoff Ouchies

Posted by Jo Innes under 2013 Stanley Cup Playoffs, General Ouchiness, Injuries, NHL Injuries, Playoffs!, The Quiet Room on May 10, 2013

A bloodied but awake Lars Eller leaves the Bell Centre via stretcher

A bloodied Lars Eller leaves the Bell Centre via stretcher

 

The first round of the playoffs are grinding along towards completion, and already there are more players done for the season than you can count on one hand. A lot of these aren’t your typical playoff injuries either – this year isn’t the usual rash of “Oh he’s so brave, he played through a broken finger/sore back/whatever!” This year we’ve got broken faces, missing teeth, and starting goaltenders done for the duration. And there’s still three more rounds to go. For some teams, anyway.

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Watch Luke Schenn shoot a puck at Wayne Simmonds face, or don’t

Posted by Justin Bourne under General Ouchiness on Mar 27, 2013

Some people are more squeamish than others, so we thought we’d give you the option. You don’t have to watch. But I would. And actually, it’s probably too late, given that these words are below the .GIF.

The result (as tweeted by CBS Eye on Hockey):

Wayne simmonds

Ouchkabibble.

Tough night – unless it was a magic bullet loogie puck, I’m thinking he took more than one smack off his head’s billboard. No visor though. And really, why would he wear one?

(S/t to SB Nation)

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The Quiet Room Dirtbag Edition: Ken Linseman

Posted by Jo Innes under Boston Bruins, Dirtbags, Edmonton Oilers, General Ouchiness, NHL Injuries, Philadelphia Flyers, The Quiet Room, Toronto Maple Leafs on Mar 20, 2013

Ken Linseman: The rattiest of the rats.

Ken Linseman: The rattiest of the rats.

 

The NHL has a long storied history of dirtbags, and Down Goes Brown wrote a delightful post for Grantland outlining the dirtbaggiest dirtbags, and their many transgressions. What a rich treasure trove of bad behaviour and ugly injuries! Thus was born a series of Quiet Room posts exploring the worst of the injuries handed out by the worst of the dirtbags in their most inglourious moments.

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The Quiet Room: Stingers Suck (just ask Brad Richards)

Posted by Jo Innes under Big Hits, Buffalo Sabres, General Ouchiness, Injuries, New York Rangers, NHL Injuries, The Quiet Room on Mar 06, 2013

Patrick Kaleta delivers a gentle love-tap to Brad Richards.

Patrick Kaleta delivers a gentle love-tap to Brad Richards.

Patrick Kaleta attempted to decapitate Brad Richards over the weekend with a shove from behind into the boards. Amazingly Richards didn’t die. He did lie on the ice for several minutes not moving his arms and wearing an agonized facial expression. While Kaleta apologists continue to insist this was a FIFA-style dive, anyone who’s ever had a stinger is offering up a hearty bird-flip at that suggestion.

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Video: QMJHL player (accidentally?) two-hands an opponent in the face

Posted by Justin Bourne under General Ouchiness, Hockey Vids, Wait What on Feb 20, 2013

If you thought it was tough to determine intent on the Hansen/Hossa play, good luck with this one.

Ross Johnston of the Moncton Wildcats is battling with Brian Lovell of the Halifax Mooseheads when his stick somehow gets wedged between the glass and the divider.

With Lovell down but rising, Johnston summons the strength of Arthur pulling Excalibur from The Stone, and wrenches his stick free. And it comes out hot. With a baseball swing motion, he clubs Lovell across the face, promptly breaking his jaw.

There wasn’t a penalty on the play, but he’s since been suspended indefinitely while the league reviews the play.

That is either terrible luck, or terribly violent. I have no idea.

(Stick-tap to Deadspin, Buzzing the Net)

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The Quiet Room: Shut your filthy mouth

Posted by Jo Innes under Ew Gross, General Ouchiness, Montreal Canadiens, NHL Injuries, Really?, Smile, The Quiet Room, Toronto Maple Leafs on Feb 19, 2013

While Marc Savard (allegedly) found him delicious, Dan Carcillo is unlikely to do any biting of his own as he has a total of approximately three teeth.

While Marc Savard (allegedly) found him delicious, Dan Carcillo is unlikely to do any biting of his own as he has a total of approximately three teeth.

 

The human mouth is a filthy, filthy place. So is a hockey player once they’re more than a few minutes into a game, and the combination of the two is a not-uncommon occurrence in the NHL. Mikhail Grabovski’s (alleged) biting of Max Pacioretty’s arm, Alex Burrows’ (obvious) biting of Patrice Bergeron’s finger, Marc Savard’s (repeated) biting of everyone’s everything, and countless other incidents of mouth versus body part have grossed us all out year after year.

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Mike Smith: Paddle Assassin

Posted by Chris Lund under General Ouchiness on Jan 21, 2013

Don’t make Mike Smith angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry. His stick suffered because he was made angry.

The wake for Mike Smith’s stick will be held at West Resthaven Funeral Home in Glendale on Tuesday. Donations will be accepted to be put towards scholarships for goalie paddles made in the same batch.

(Video H/T CBS EyeOnHockey)

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