Archive for the ‘General Ouchiness’ Category

If you thought it was tough to determine intent on the Hansen/Hossa play, good luck with this one.

Ross Johnston of the Moncton Wildcats is battling with Brian Lovell of the Halifax Mooseheads when his stick somehow gets wedged between the glass and the divider.

With Lovell down but rising, Johnston summons the strength of Arthur pulling Excalibur from The Stone, and wrenches his stick free. And it comes out hot. With a baseball swing motion, he clubs Lovell across the face, promptly breaking his jaw.

There wasn’t a penalty on the play, but he’s since been suspended indefinitely while the league reviews the play.

That is either terrible luck, or terribly violent. I have no idea.

(Stick-tap to Deadspin, Buzzing the Net)

While Marc Savard (allegedly) found him delicious, Dan Carcillo is unlikely to do any biting of his own as he has a total of approximately three teeth.

While Marc Savard (allegedly) found him delicious, Dan Carcillo is unlikely to do any biting of his own as he has a total of approximately three teeth.


The human mouth is a filthy, filthy place. So is a hockey player once they’re more than a few minutes into a game, and the combination of the two is a not-uncommon occurrence in the NHL. Mikhail Grabovski’s (alleged) biting of Max Pacioretty’s arm, Alex Burrows’ (obvious) biting of Patrice Bergeron’s finger, Marc Savard’s (repeated) biting of everyone’s everything, and countless other incidents of mouth versus body part have grossed us all out year after year.

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Mike Smith: Paddle Assassin

Don’t make Mike Smith angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry. His stick suffered because he was made angry.

The wake for Mike Smith’s stick will be held at West Resthaven Funeral Home in Glendale on Tuesday. Donations will be accepted to be put towards scholarships for goalie paddles made in the same batch.

(Video H/T CBS EyeOnHockey)

And so it was that Evgeni Malkin’s pronouncement earlier this summer that Sidney Crosby would consider playing overseas if there is a lockout was proven to be prophecy, confirmed by the NHL’s golden boy himself.

Why? He’s finally feeling healthy (“It’s been really good,” he told Dave Molinari of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. “Nothing. I’ve been feeling 100 percent. It feels good to not have to think about that, and to work as hard as you want. It’s been really good.”), and, due to all that time he missed with a goofy brain in the last two seasons — 101 of 164 possible games — he apparently feels it might be best to not just sit around collecting escrow checks and waiting for the owners to remove the chains and padlocks from its teams’ rinks. And apparently, he looked very good indeed in working out with his teammates ahead of a trip to New York. Read the rest of this entry »

"Bauer Bumps." Yes, I have huge, gross feet, and yes, taking a picture of your heel is hard.

The sport of hockey shapes the landscape of a player’s body over time, and not necessarily for the better. In fact, it kinda makes us semi-mutants.

While your average rec player may not get the chance to look like Ryan Kesler or Zdeno Chara in ESPN the Magazine – lean, athletic, and cut – most of us do have a few other things in common. Let’s take a look, shall we?


Bauer Bumps (Shown above – the technical term is “Haglund’s Deformity,” also occasionally referred to as heel spurs. In the years since I’ve stopped playing, they’ve gone down considerably. I wear sandals every day and live in the desert. Please ignore the rest of my foot.) Read the rest of this entry »

With the 2012 post-season (sadly) nearing its conclusion, it’s time to reflect on just how great they’ve been.

Earlier this week we compiled the 10 best saves from playoffs; today you get the 10-best hits.

So sit back, relax, and be glad you’re not on the wrong end of these: Read the rest of this entry »


Brendan Gaunce may be the best two-way center prospect in this draft. He is widely acknowledged as an elite prospect, he is an imposing 6-foot-2, 215 pound body and he plays PHYSICAL. Scouts have been quick to heap praise on him, even going as far as saying that he is the prototype of what a team wants to build around.
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