Archive for the ‘General Ouchiness’ Category

And so it was that Evgeni Malkin’s pronouncement earlier this summer that Sidney Crosby would consider playing overseas if there is a lockout was proven to be prophecy, confirmed by the NHL’s golden boy himself.

Why? He’s finally feeling healthy (“It’s been really good,” he told Dave Molinari of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. “Nothing. I’ve been feeling 100 percent. It feels good to not have to think about that, and to work as hard as you want. It’s been really good.”), and, due to all that time he missed with a goofy brain in the last two seasons — 101 of 164 possible games — he apparently feels it might be best to not just sit around collecting escrow checks and waiting for the owners to remove the chains and padlocks from its teams’ rinks. And apparently, he looked very good indeed in working out with his teammates ahead of a trip to New York. Read the rest of this entry »


"Bauer Bumps." Yes, I have huge, gross feet, and yes, taking a picture of your heel is hard.

The sport of hockey shapes the landscape of a player’s body over time, and not necessarily for the better. In fact, it kinda makes us semi-mutants.

While your average rec player may not get the chance to look like Ryan Kesler or Zdeno Chara in ESPN the Magazine – lean, athletic, and cut – most of us do have a few other things in common. Let’s take a look, shall we?

First…

Bauer Bumps (Shown above – the technical term is “Haglund’s Deformity,” also occasionally referred to as heel spurs. In the years since I’ve stopped playing, they’ve gone down considerably. I wear sandals every day and live in the desert. Please ignore the rest of my foot.) Read the rest of this entry »

With the 2012 post-season (sadly) nearing its conclusion, it’s time to reflect on just how great they’ve been.

Earlier this week we compiled the 10 best saves from playoffs; today you get the 10-best hits.

So sit back, relax, and be glad you’re not on the wrong end of these: Read the rest of this entry »

Grumpy

Brendan Gaunce may be the best two-way center prospect in this draft. He is widely acknowledged as an elite prospect, he is an imposing 6-foot-2, 215 pound body and he plays PHYSICAL. Scouts have been quick to heap praise on him, even going as far as saying that he is the prototype of what a team wants to build around.
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It’s one thing to be an NHLer and get “Kronwall’d,” and quite another to be a 24 year-Latvian who’s never played the guy and get hit like this. I’m not sure why entirely, I just feel like you’d be a little more surprised. At least when NHLers are in a crumpled heap on the ice they can piece together that the number of the train that just hit them was 55 (as opposed to 7 at the Worlds). Saulietis may have thought the building got bombed or something.

International tournaments don’t see a lot of this stuff either, so it had to be even more shocking.

What amazes me about this hit is how quickly Kronwall transitions from looking like he’s skating backwards to making contact. I guess technically he is still skating backwards, only now for the forwards, he’s skating backwards at them. Seriously, watch that cut though, that’s some great skating.

Read the rest of this entry »

Playoffs are always physical, and this year was no exception. I think Alex Ovechkin would agree.

So, the proof: here are the top 10 hits from the first round of NHL playoffs:

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Rough night

The problem with high sticks is they’re a little haphazard. Actually, not a little, a lot. They tend to mess up whatever they make contact with. They cut your face, they bruise your face, they do a lot of generally unsavory things to your face or facial area. Peter Harrold learned that the hard way, only in more of a Dave Manson fashion.

For those of you who may be foggy, Dave Manson was a big, bruising NHL defenseman. At a point in his career he became known as “The Hoarse Whisperer” because a punch to the throat from one Sergio Momesso which permanently damaged his vocal chords and meant that Manson could barely raise his voice above a whisper volume.

Harrold has his Manson moment in today’s game against the Panthers and Tomas Kopecky played the role of Momesso as his stick popped up in front of the Devils net and speared Harrold right in the throat.

Look. Read the rest of this entry »