Well, it has come to this. While my original prediction that the National Hockey League season would start up in late December is still very much in the realm of possibility, it’s become tiresome to continually write about the lockout. The public theatre also seems to bug a bunch of people, so I’ve been inspired to transfer some of the major characters from the NHL’s labour dispute to the world of Shakespeare. This was mostly so I would have the chance to characterize Gary Bettman as the equivalent of Billy’s Richard III, a deformed manipulator who became one of literature’s classic villains.
Scene One (Inspired by Richard III)
Toronto, hotel lobby
Enter GARY BETTMAN
Now comes the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this Son of Troy Read the rest of this entry »
I know, I know. But it’s the lockout. And Halloween. This is relevant, I swear.
You may have heard that Wayne Gretzky has a daughter named Paulina. You may also know that she has occasionally posted a couple pictures of herself online. You may be aware that she doesn’t tend to over-dress for said photos.
Well, Halloween is sort of the perfect fit for someone who enjoys doing such things, and Paulina took advantage. She wore a few different outfits this Hallow-season and put the pictures online, which were sent to us by the folks at the Sun News Network.
If you want, you can see where Paulina gets her pure sexiness in a post I did on her Dad earlier this month.
She opted for a few classics. For example… Read the rest of this entry »
Image from JackJohnson3.com
Above is the actual image from Jack Johnson’s personal website, which I feel pretty safe calling “over-cooked.” I mean the image, not the website. Oh, and the words too.
Oh, the honour! You despicable scoundrels! You knaves! A pox upon thee!
At least they chose an excellent font.
I mean, I get it – it is pretty shitty to sign contracts that you don’t intend to pay. But I have a lot of other issues beyond the “honour” of businessmen trying to maximize profits.
I can just see Gary Bettman presenting the players latest CBA offer to the owners and saying “Well, gents, we can certainly get a better deal, but you did sign those contracts, so let me appeal to your moral righteousness here and explain why we should accept this.” Johnson should sign one of those fan petitions too. That’ll get the deal done.
Now that I’m done being a complete asshole, here’s what Johnson wrote: Read the rest of this entry »
For the under-informed internetters out there, “NSFW” stands for “not safe for work,” in this particular case due to a gaggle of well-placed, very necessary f-bombs.
If you can’t handle the NHL and NHLPA’s legal-speak, or the overall back-and-forth, and really just wanna cut to the core of what the NHL lockout is currently about, here are Jeremy Larter and Robbie Carruthers simplifying the situation into three easily understandable, hilarious minutes (with help from Jason Arsenault and Jason Larter). Easily understandable, assuming you speak Canadian. Read the rest of this entry »
(Editor’s note: Breaking: I’m not a lawyer. Therefore, my opinions on the lockout and the ongoing CBA negotiations are roughly as valuable as that of the guy I met the other day who told me that “NBC cancelled the season today.” Got it.
Fortunately, I am friends with a (kinda concerning?) number of lawyers, some of whom also happen to be hockey fans.
One of them, @67Sound, offered up a “quixotic” lockout solution (a quick trip to dictionary.com explains that “quixotic” means “exceedingly unrealistic; unrealistic and impractical.”), which turns out to be less quixotic, and more completely reasonable and excellent. It makes sense, and could work.
Give it a read and see what you think, then let’s hash this thing out in the comment section.) Read the rest of this entry »
Three-time Stanley Cup champion Mathieu Dandenault fired out the above tweet this afternoon, expressly claiming that the NHLPA is offering the NHL four different proposals to choose from, each one with a revenue split of 50/50.
If true, that’s a pretty sharp PR turn from the union. Basically, now they have the upper hand with the “Hey, if they can’t choose at least one of our offers, this is on them, not us” angle.
I have to believe that, much like the way the owners used the initial lowball offer so they could get the players thinking “wow, compared to the initial offer, this looks pretty good,” that at least one or two of the offers is considerably better than the others.
That way, you set up the whole “Heyyy, this looks pretty good” moment for the owners. We’ll find out soon enough. They’re meeting as I write this.
From David Pagnotta of The Fourth Period: Of the 4 proposals being presented to the NHL by the NHLPA, all include a gradual step towards 50/50 split. Year 1 starts around 54/46.
* Confirmed by Pierre Lebrun as well – three offers.
Michael Bublé is a pretty swell guy. And actually, I think he’d like being described that way – it fits the nomenclature of a guy who frequently gets referred to as a “crooner.” I bet he’d think that description is just peachy-keen, you betcha. Let’s all go to the malt shop!
Another thing Michael Bublé is, is an established hockey fan. He’s made plenty of appearances at NHL events, has been outed as a Canucks fan, and once even joined the team for a practice.
See? Read the rest of this entry »