Archive for the ‘Wait What’ Category

Ottawa Senators v Pittsburgh Penguins

On February 13th, the Ottawa Senators tweeted out the official news in the wake of the Matt Cooke/Erik Karlsson achilles-cutting incident:

Game over. The Sens were going to have to make it the rest of the way without their Norris Trophy-winning defenseman. It was over.

But lo! The unthinkable news broke earlier today:

Hhhhhhwut.

Read the rest of this entry »

Detroit Red Wings v Columbus Blue Jackets

Earlier this season, I had a very brief sit down with Columbus and explained a reality: Detroit is just not that into you. As a rival, I mean.

The Wings once had a rivalry with Colorado that mattered, so I guess they might consider them a top opponent. They once had one with Chicago, so there’s that too. I think they might even consider St. Louis a rival. Regardless, I don’t think they’ve historically had you very high on their list of teams they’re concerned about.

Why’s that, you ask?

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary “rivalry” is defined as “not that.”

I did a little check to ensure that was right, and check this out – it’s never been close. Chart time! Read the rest of this entry »

 

Last night the Montreal Canadiens clinched a playoff spot by beating the Buffalo Sabres 5-1 but who cares because Steve Ott licked Jeff Halpern’s visor at a face-off. Let’s focus on what really matters here.

Not really sure what to do with this, so I’m just going to present it and get out of the way. It happened. I suppose maybe it was some agitator-y attempt at being annoying? I dunno. I’ll slowly back out of the room now.

(Stick-tap to the Buzz)

ek back

Hey, remember when Matt Cooke stepped on the back of Erik Karlsson’s leg and his skate blade sliced Karlsson’s achilles? The defending Norris Trophy-winning defenseman was ruled out for the season because a skate cut his freaking achilles. Pretty cut-and-dried situation, unless you’re Eugene Melnyk, and you believe the cut happened intentionally so you’re hiring a forensic doctor to prove it.

Welp…the dude is back skating.

And here you have it: Read the rest of this entry »

At the under-18′s this year (division two), Lithuania gave up a short-handed goal to Great Britain with 32 seconds left that put GB up 3-2, which would end up being the final score of the game. That’s a frustrating way to lose.

So, naturally, a Lithuanian player whipped his stick helicopter style at a ref.

I don’t know if it was intentional or not (the “at the ref” part, I mean) – I’m leaning towards yes – but either way, that just happened. Remember kids: displays of anger and ref-blaming are key parts of the sporting culture, and it’s important to look at players like this as role models.

sarcasm-detector

 (Stick-tap to Deadspin)

I did not expect to put this picture in a post when I woke up this morning.

I did not expect to put this picture in a post when I woke up this morning.

I swear that this is not an April Fools’ Day joke. This is just too damn weird to not make a post on.

So, hands up if you’ve seen Baby Geniuses or Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2? I see very few hands. Okay, fine. The Baby Geniuses series are two of those movies that probably only has notoriety because the Internet exists and would likely be a long forgotten footnote of a film were it not for the meme-ification and weird, pseudo-ironic enjoyment that comes from horrible things. The original is #74 on IMDB’s Bottom 100 list and the sequel is currently ranked #4 while also, to this day, remaining the second worst movie Jon Voight ever made. Actually, that’s not even close to true. Does anyone have a weirder IMDB page than Jon Voight? See you for Baby Geniuses 5, dude.

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iggy gone

Okay, let’s dive in.

Yup, that’s a thing that happened. Read the rest of this entry »