The Jones: Mail Call II

You’ve got questions and we’ve got poorly constructed answers! Join us as we ponder a new stat called “attempted assists”, the league’s best crossover and whether we’d build a new franchise around LeBron or Durantula. We also give Rodrigue Beaubois the new nickname he so desperately needs and Tas invents an iPhone game called “Gimme Go Cracker.”


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Comments (32)

  1. C’mon, it’s gotta be “Ro-Beau”!

  2. Maybe if he becomes a cop …

  3. Um if it isn’t “The Beaubois Plague” I will be severely disappointed.

  4. I mean the, Beaubois-nic Plague. Even more genius than I originally thought.

  5. The Beaubonic Plague defiantly stood above the rest to me

  6. @Skeets:
    Well, he is fast and a good shooter.

  7. I’m also a fan of “The Beaubonic Plague.” I think we need a poll …

  8. Bill Simmons from ESPN says that we should start keeping track of HALF assists coming from “assisted FTs.”

    Example: J. Richardson passes down the court to Stoudemire who throws it down over Anthony Tolliver’s soul. Richardson gets 1 assist for the dunk, and an extra half assist if Stoudemire hits the free throw. -OR- If Stoudemire misses the dunk, but is still awarded two FTAs, Richardson is credited with half an assist for each FTM by Stoudemire.

  9. Beaubonic Plague was the best by far.

  10. just an fyi – the first part of wollongong is pronounced more like “wool”…

  11. Your reasoning for the Mavs-Spurs matchup puzzled me. I certainly can nod when I hear claims about Kidd and Duncan declining (maybe because I’ve already read that often enough), but Nowitzki?
    What is this statement based on? Just looking at his player file, he turns 32 this year and his season averages (ppg, FG%, 3p%, FT%) are above his career averages; only his rebound average seems to be significantly lower.

    Completely agree with a Lakers-Blazers however. Would be great to see the Lakers get forced to deliver in the first round or face early elimination and the Blazers might be capable of that.

  12. Rooks winning titles, um, I heard about this guy named Magic Johnson… he was a pretty good player…played all 5 positions…

    The French blur? The fuck? Brazilian blur was an alliteration, is how it sounded better. Big League Rodrigue is catchy, still incorporates his exotic name. RoBeau

  13. I agree with Bing and the assisted FTs. Makes complete sense. Not so sure about the attempted assists though. Seems a little too grey.

    As for the Mavs not being a lock for the playoffs, Tas, you are aware that, since the league expanded the schedule to 82 games, the Mavs are only the third team to win 50 or more for 10 consecutive seasons, right? (Magic’s Lakers and the current Spurs are the others.) And that even before the 82-game expansion, only one team had done it (Russell’s Celtics)? And that they’ve made the playoffs each of those 10 years? If the Mavs haven’t been a playoff lock, then neither have the Spurs. Can’t have it both ways.

  14. Click the video, and it tells me “The selected item is currently unavailable.”

  15. Works now.

    I’ll take CP3 over Durant. Book it.

    I know you won’t all take me seriously, as a Blazers fan, but Roy’s got a wicked crossover. Crazy body control, balance.

    Blazers over the Lakers! I like it, Tas. Phil Jackson has said he hates Portland–too much rain, Rose Garden is rowdy, and he’s always had a tough time with the Blazers.

  16. NICE! i’m the 2nd phone call in . . . awesome. my wife is still so not going to be proud of me . . .

  17. D-Rob?!?! What the hell, man? It’s the Admiral! THE ADMIRAL!

    That’s just sacreligious…

  18. Fact Check: Skeets was correct on the Mavs being a playoff lock/50+ wins for 10 years (including this season):

    Good show as always!

  19. SUNS vs. SPURS
    Round 5 (Since 2002)
    Nash, Amare & Co. vs. Timmy, Manuuuu, ParKair & Co.

    Spurs up 4-0…can the Suns finally pull it off?
    Amare is probably gone, both teams have been declared ‘dead’ many times. This is the last stand for both.

  20. Okay, people are getting crazy with the Beaubois-name, so I just wanted some crossover talk. I was waiting to hear Jamal Crawford’s name, and thanks a lot J.E.. It is CLOSE between Deron, Derrick and Jamal.
    Personally, I like Jamal’s crossover best, BECAUSE; Yes, Williams and Rose do the crossover faster, BUT, I think Jamal does it better. and that’s the thing right there, he does is so good that he gets the defender on the ground even if it isn’t that fast. In addition, he has the sickest shake-n-bake / crossover move ever. and I like what you said about the AI/Kobe crossover, that is too high, and the carrying etc…..

  21. Beaubonic Plague hands down… and D-Will has the best crossover… EVER

  22. Quick draw Beaubois was the best!

  23. The nickname “Beaubwonic Plague” is fresher than a springtime breeze through a field of daisies; whereas “Quickdraw McGraw”, I mean “Beaubois” is merely a tired, uninspired recombobulation, much like a pile of month-old snow in the corner of the parking lot with smog particulate mixed in.

  24. What about Wade for starting a franchise. He is the only one of those youngens that actually has a ring (and let’s not forget he basically won that ring himself)… just a thought.

  25. After watching that Jazz Thunder game tonight, that gets my vote for first round playoff matchup I want to see most.

  26. WTH 11:45 and no episode yet! I am severly dissappointed!

  27. The crossover everyone thinks of? C’mon guys it has to be the UTEP2STEP.

    TIm Hardaway is stil that guy that has the killer crossover.

  28. Beauboinic Commando

  29. or….

    RoBoinic Commando

  30. As far as Roddy’s name…with all the incessant comparisons to ex-Mav Devin ‘The Blur’ Harris’ play coming out of Dallas, the French born player’s nickname should be obvious, n’est-ce pas?

    “Sacre Blur!”

  31. Sorry I didn’t call with a nickname but I couldn’t get any weed.

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