Nate Robinson and Shaquille O'Neal

With training camp now underway and pre-season basketball less than a week away, this seems like a good time to suggest some fun over-under prop bets for the upcoming season. Prop bets, if you’re unaware, are bets that can be made on a predicted outcome for almost any event you can think of. For example, there are sports books that allow you to wager on whether the Super Bowl coin toss will come up heads or tails. Essentially, they’re an opportunity for degenerate gamblers to throw away even more money on their favorite sporting events.

Here are a selection of over-under prop bets that I would like to propose, and I invite the readers to suggest your own in the comments.

  • Number of times Nate Robinson will try to fight Shaquille O’Neal after being teased, and Shaq will keep Nate away with his hand on Nate’s head while Nate flails his arms wildly and yells “LEMME AT ‘IM! LEMME AT ‘IM!”: 17
  • Number of times Tim Duncan will glare at a referee incredulously after being called for a personal foul: 152
  • Number of clipboards Raptors coach Jay Triano will break: 12
  • Players who will debut new tattoos featuring Chinese symbols that don’t mean what they think they mean: 23
  • Number of “grenades” that Chris Bosh will get stuck with after a night out clubbing with LeBron and Wade: 31
  • Packs of imported Canadian cigarettes that Hedo Turkoglu will smoke: 95
  • Combined minutes played by Greg Oden and Joel Przybilla: 800
  • Number of games into the season before Bill Simmons gives up on the Celtics’ championship chances: 34
  • Exact date when David Stern will permanently ban all NBA players from using Twitter: January 4, 2011
  • Number of times Delonte West will get away with saying to LeBron: “Say hi to your mom for me.”: 0.5