I’d imagine it’s strange being an NBA player’s interior decorator. Well, I’d imagine it’s strange being anyone’s interior decorator, but that’s beside the point. But if you’re decorating for a professional athlete, the oddities abound. Not only does everything have to be super-sized, these guys seem to like overtly personalized items like a gigantic Superman bed or a mirrored gym filled with other players’ jerseys. Like I said, weird.

For instance, how is Lamar Odom’s interior decorator going to figure out how to incorporate these two anniversary presents he just received?

OK, fine, Odom probably already has a room that’s filled with various custom candy dispensers, has curtains made from Fruit Roll-Ups and is stocked with furniture made from assorted hard candies so the Skittles machine will fit right in. In fact, he’s probably had a little spot in his sweets room ever since he heard about Derrick Rose’s Skittles hook-up. It was a just a matter of time before he had his own talking Skittles dispenser.

I’m more worried about the enormous oil painting of Odom and his wife — Khloe Kardashian, duh — enjoying a seated smooch. And I’m especially worried if these two lovebirds feel like they have to mimic the kiss anytime they stand by it, because that just doesn’t seem practical at all. Not to mention, if you’re a Lakers fan you have to be concerned that Odom spent hours posing for this portrait. Sitting for that long can’t be good for the knees or back.