Yesterday, the accompanying photograph — Amar’e Stoudemire playing naked pooljumpers for ESPN Magazine’s “Body Issue” — made the Internet rounds. Naturally, there are quite a few things to think after laying eyes on this now-legendary snapshot. Here are some of those thoughts.
- Hmmm … OK … soooooo …. yeah.
- I never would have guessed that such a large human would have such tiny nipples.
- In the diving business, this is what they call the tuck position.
- This isn’t going to score well with the judges. Pointed toes are a must. Also, clothing.
- Apparently, we’ll never really know whether or not Amar’e is actually Jewish.
- (“Seinfeld” joke.)
- (Anchorman joke.)
- Well, at least his knee looks healthy.
- Let’s just be thankful that Amar’e is playing sound on-the-ball defense for once.
- He must work out.
- Don’t worry too much about this, Knick fans — it could be worse. For instance, Eddy Curry.
- Amar’e Stoudemire might be the only guy on Earth who wears goggles for basketball and not for swimming.
- B.E.E.F. — Balance. Eyes. Elbow. Fall in to a pool totally naked while holding a basketball in one hand.
- Looks like there will be no more complaining about all the weird clothes he wears before and after games.
- This is one of those pictures that stays seared in to your brain for life. No, not because he’s totally naked with just his hand covering his private bits, but … well, yeah it’s because of the naked thing.
- Unknown PETA executive: “You mean to tell me we could have got this guy totally naked and we just went shirtless? A rare miss, marketing department. Someone bring me a tofurkey sandwich and some fake blood. I’m feeling protest-y.”
Surely you have your own thoughts. Let’s hear ‘em down below.