Yesterday, the accompanying photograph — Amar’e Stoudemire playing naked pooljumpers for ESPN Magazine’s “Body Issue” — made the Internet rounds. Naturally, there are quite a few things to think after laying eyes on this now-legendary snapshot. Here are some of those thoughts.

  • Hmmm … OK … soooooo …. yeah.
  • I never would have guessed that such a large human would have such tiny nipples.
  • In the diving business, this is what they call the tuck position.
  • This isn’t going to score well with the judges. Pointed toes are a must. Also, clothing.
  • Apparently, we’ll never really know whether or not Amar’e is actually Jewish.
  • (“Seinfeld” joke.)
  • (Anchorman joke.)
  • Well, at least his knee looks healthy.
  • Let’s just be thankful that Amar’e is playing sound on-the-ball defense for once.
  • He must work out.
  • Don’t worry too much about this, Knick fans — it could be worse. For instance, Eddy Curry.
  • Amar’e Stoudemire might be the only guy on Earth who wears goggles for basketball and not for swimming.
  • B.E.E.F. — Balance. Eyes. Elbow. Fall in to a pool totally naked while holding a basketball in one hand.
  • Looks like there will be no more complaining about all the weird clothes he wears before and after games.
  • This is one of those pictures that stays seared in to your brain for life. No, not because he’s totally naked with just his hand covering his private bits, but … well, yeah it’s because of the naked thing.
  • Unknown PETA executive: “You mean to tell me we could have got this guy totally naked and we just went shirtless? A rare miss, marketing department. Someone bring me a tofurkey sandwich and some fake blood. I’m feeling protest-y.”

Surely you have your own thoughts. Let’s hear ‘em down below.

Comments (8)

  1. My thoughts: Ever since Kerby joined The Jones I have to scroll forever to find the relevant content.

  2. My Thoughts: Quantity does not win over quality, but more in relation to the absolute drivel Trey has contributed to TBJ so far.

    Not that this shouldn’t have ever been put here, but considering Deadspin, All Ball (Get it!) and Kelly Dywer have already posted the exact same twaddle surely Trey the very least you could have lathargicly done was push out a airbrushing joke or mentioned the comedy goldmine that is the term “man-gina”.

    Or are you doing this website pro bono?
    See…?! So many dick jokes out there, just at least look like you’re trying cause so far you’re not fooling anyone. This is just lazyness and recycled dickery. Literally.

  3. Haters gonna hate.

  4. Matt & TJR: Bitter, are we???

  5. never thought a guy like amari would do that

  6. [...] a 6-foot-1o mass of tightly wound muscle covered in muscles, and the kind of guy who will jump naked in to a swimming pool for a magazine cover, just because he wants to show off. At one point, he claimed to have just 2 [...]

  7. i have the weirdest boner right now

  8. [...] clothes. Fingers crossed.Of course, if that’s too complicated, you can always go the other route. On second thought, don’t. No Comments Previous post Hyundai: It’s how Ron Artest [...]

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