I’m with you, Tommy Heinsohn. That ejection is stupid.

Because the cameraman was focusing on the free throws, it’s hard to tell exactly what went down during last night’s Knicks/Celtics technical fest, but if you’ll have a looksy at this breakdown from Yahoo!’s Adrian Wojnarowski you’ll surely join forces with the rest of the It’s So Stupid Squad.

Just beyond the shadows of the NBA’s Olympic Tower Wednesday night at Madison Square Garden, Boston’s Jermaine O’Neal drew his second technical in two nights for moderately reacting to a referee’s foul call. Kevin Garnett was given a technical moments later for trying to show an official how a New York Knicks player had hit him, and was then ejected for laughing over the legitimacy of that tech.

Finally, the Knicks’ Timofey Mozgov muttered to himself in Russian, and these lost, young referees carrying out orders teed him up, too.

Just to clarify, here are a few things that will definitely get you a technical foul in the new NBA:

  • Smiling.
  • Frowning.
  • Laughing.
  • Chuckling.
  • Giggling.
  • Remembering the “Biblioteca” rap from “Community” and letting out one of those little sigh-laughs through your nose.
  • Opening your eyes one millimeter bigger than their standard openness.
  • Speaking Russian.
  • Ordering Russian dressing on a postgame salad.
  • Having a bald head and playing for the Celtics.
  • Committing a defensive three-second violation.
  • Slapping someone on their bumble.
  • Slapping da bass.
  • Being a human being on an NBA court.
  • Bringing your pet monkey to an NBA game, even if it has a diaper with a hole cut out for the tail.

That’s just a partial list, but it pretty much covers the basics of these new technical rules that are going to result in a whole bunch of hilarious ejections. Next thing you know, Stephen Curry is going to get kicked out of a game for thinking about that time his old man won Sixth Man of the Year in 1994. Can’t wait.

(video via BDL)

Comments (4)

  1. The next generation of player will be Skynet robots

  2. This is a goddamn joke. These assholes are going to kill Tommy! I’d say who cares because it’s the pre-season, but I can’t get over Perk’s ejection from the Orlando series.

    If they’re going to be equally as quick with double techs when guys get tangled up, and they’re going to be this quick on normal techs, then people are going to be paying an awful lot of money to see Big Baby and Semih Erden playing the 4 and 5.

  3. i wish i knew the perfect word to describe woj’s writing style but i can’ seem to come up with it. it always seems he’s always writing about some goddamn fantasy of epic proportions on the level of lord of the rings or something like that. sometimes if i’m reading one of his articles i find myself thinking “wait am i still reading about the nba?”. also dude is a hypocrite and that annoys me too.

  4. “laughing” – well, if you’re tim duncan, joey crawford has already done that one…

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