As we all know, everybody on Earth’s new favorite player is Kevin Durant. He’s young, he’s good and he continually refuses to acknowledge that he’s one of the best players in the NBA which continually endears him to people. NBA GMs picked him as their choice to win MVP this season, and they also choose him as the young player they’d want to build a team around despite the fact that LeBron James is only 25 years old. This season is sure to be a Durant love-fest, and everyone’s invited.
And trust me, you’re going to want to accept the invitation, because Ron Artest is going to be there. In fact, he already showed up — in true Ron Artest fashion — with quotes for days.
If you ask the Los Angeles Lakers’ Ron Artest, the biggest NBA signing of the summer wasn’t LeBron James leaving Cleveland to go to Miami as a free agent; it was Kevin Durant extending his contract with the Thunder to stay in Oklahoma City.
“He’s the second best player in the NBA,” Artest said of Durant, ranking the youngest scoring champion in league history behind only teammate Kobe Bryant.
“Kobe’s got five rings, six game winners [last season], 23-straight points in [Game 5 of the Finals] off mostly jump shots,” Artest elaborated. “[He's] the biggest shot maker, big shot maker. So, that said, Durant’s the second best player in the NBA.”
When asked where James ranks on his list, Artest excluded the back-to-back MVP from consideration.
“I only count to two,” Artest said. “I’ve been out of school 15 years, so I only count to two.”
Finally, someone with the ingenuity to figure out the best player in the NBA equation by using pseudo-math. Sure, Ron Artest’s numbers only include things that happen in the last five seconds of 48 minute games or are largely dependent on supporting casts, but at least he’s giving it a shot. Unfortunately, by these standards, I’m pretty sure that Ron-Ron would pick Robert Horry as the best player of all-time. He’s no Bernhard Riemann.
Oh, and for the record, Artest graduated from high school in 1997 and was in college as a math major (thanks Charles) until 1999, which is definitely less than 15 years ago. I’m not saying we shouldn’t trust Ron Artest’s math skills, but we probably shouldn’t trust Ron Artest’s math skills.