You’ve probably already heard about this, but in case you haven’t — LeBron James signed with the Miami Heat this past offseason. I would be surprised if you weren’t aware of that, but it is true and you need to know that information to properly honor the two-time reigning MVP. And when I say honoring him, I mean it.

We’re talking poetry, you guys. LeBron James in Miami poetry. Totally not joking.

LeBron James Poetry Contest

The Miami Herald and WLRN is proud to announce a city-wide poetry contest to commemorate the arrival of LeBron James to Miami and the beginning of the 2010-11 Miami Heat basketball season.

-Poem must commemorate the arrival of LeBron James to Miami
-The poem can utilize any form but cannot exceed six lines (LeBron’s jersey is No. 6)
-No limit to the number of poems you can submit
-The entry must be received by Friday, October 22 at 6 p.m.

That’s this Friday, so you need to start working on your best six-line poems. (Classic poem length.) I think if we crowdsource this thing, one of us can take home the big prize — reading our own poem on air, plus tickets to Miami’s finest poetry festival, O, Miami.

Let’s brainstorm down below.

Here’s my first entry, which is pretty much perfect already but I’ll accept your suggestions anyway:

LeBron James in Miami, Oh, such a treat
LeBron James in Miami, rejoice in the street
LeBron James in Miami, he brought his friends
LeBron James in Miami, let’s see how this ends
LeBron James in Miami, headband and all
Zydrunas Ilgauskas, both skinny and tall

Yeah, I know that’s very good and I should just book my flight to South Beach right now, but I’m guessing the competition is going to be pretty stiff. I mean, international rap superstar Will Smith already sent in his entry.

Party in the city where the Heat is on.
All night on the beach til the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami (bienvenido a Miami)
Bouncin’ on the court where the Heat is on
All night on the beach til the break of dawn.
LeBron James in Miami, welcome to Miami

You’re going to need to make sure your rhyming game is on point if you want to step to me or Will Smith. Put your best LeBron poems in the comments and we can have a poets workshop. It’ll be so much fun.

(via BDL)

Comments (25)

  1. That’s not cool. Why didn’t we have a poetry contest to commemorate Trey Kerby’s arrival to the Basketball Jones?

  2. I haven’t won any MVPs yet.

  3. MVPs, how do they work?

  4. My LeBron haiku… *ahem*

    LeBron in South Beach
    His real talent is playing
    With head in own ass

  5. My pitiful contribution, modeled after “I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud” by William Wordsworth:

    ‘Bron wandered lonely as a cloud
    That dunks on high o’er ‘Melo and Hill
    When all at once he saw a crowd,
    A host, of wine and gold daffodils;
    Beside the lake, crying ‘neath trees,
    Fluttering and cursing in his breeze.

  6. Of want and glory and highest stake
    This agent, free, a choice doth make
    A ring is sought, the hero smitten
    So the tale, it shall be written
    Of dragons, faeries, knights and elves
    And Cleveland can go fuck themselves

  7. @NoiseMekanik: All right, this contest is officially over. You win. That was amazing.

  8. Yup. Game over.

  9. Lebron James will be in Miami this fall
    Because the Cavs sucked too much to win it all.
    He managed to put Dan Gilbert in a rage
    By acting like a fool on ESPN’s stage.
    Now he’s in South Florida, his pockets are rich
    But nevertheless he’ll be D-Wade’s b!tch.

  10. I vote for mellowman

  11. Angel LeBron: Big, Precious Arrived in South Beach.
    A Halo, a Cloud of Angels, a Thousand Rainbows.
    King’s Presence: think, feel, love, see all around.
    Miracle Worker. You are the Greatest. Affirmed.
    My Love.
    Aaron Toroman, 26; Miami, FL, U.S.A.

  12. hahaha omfg! @hector that 2 post in a row that ur comment has made me lol, oh and i agree NoiseMekanik ftw

  13. And again, LeBron’s ego is on display… “Hey people, write poems celebrating me!”

  14. The king of kings came to Miami and bought
    A Potemkin mansion, golden wrought.
    He thought he’d fill it with titles and rings,
    Instead he amassed material things.
    He said, look on my digs, remember my name.
    Nothing remains, but the name, in shame.

  15. [...] contest because you’re not going to come up with anything better than TBJ commenter “NoiseMekanik” (The Basketball Jones) 1 Comment Previous post “HEDO! YOU ARE FLAT-OUT LAZY… [...]

  16. Thank you, thank you! I also do county fairs and birthday parties…

  17. Lebron james in South Beach in search of a ring
    Tryna establish himself as the one n only king
    But is he the best of his Superfriend mates?
    When people say Yes, i know D-Wade gets Irate
    Cause the finals MVP on this team is named D-Wade
    By next year this time Lebron’s legacy will have fade.

  18. Lebron is now, just second fiddle
    Like Shaq was, camped in the middle

    I hope his every shot is a brick
    Cause I can’t stand that stupid dick

    Yes lebron left us and went down south
    Now just witness, wade’s dick in his mouth.

  19. Zydrunas Ilgauskas, both skinny and tall, perfect ending :D

  20. Skeets, Tas, Trey: Thank you for posting this and and thank you to the Jones readers for writing the poems. I’m the judge of the contest (up until the “finalist” stage). There’s some excellent stuff in the comment section here and you guys should submit it if you haven’t already. (Even the hate!)

    Also, if you love Big Z, read this:

    -P. Scott

  21. No player’s ever won alone,
    so LeBron wandered from his home.
    He took his talents to South Beach,
    where media would prod and leech.
    Fans take their potshots, chomp at the bit,
    but really, grow up with that shit.

  22. Lol @ Will. I hope we don’t get shown that

    @Matt: Nice prose rebuttal. Lebron’s still a bitch though

  23. when it comes to b-ball, amazing, Lebron
    on lists of best ever, rated- strong
    but until willing to face
    your abject disgrace
    you will not be all nba, but all con
    (p.s.) what are you going to tell your kids about the golden rule?

  24. I am lebron, a young phenom
    Travel down to south beach to be the greatest and beyond
    Bosh on my left, wade on my right hand
    Winning in miami like I couldn’t do in cleveland
    But I don’t care, Burn my jersey to the ground
    But don’t come to Miami cause this is my town

  25. I Love you these poems are so good!

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