For the past 26 years, you’ve been able to buy just about anything you wanted from Michael Jordan. Hot dogs, gum, movies starring Looney Tunes, soundtracks featuring R. Kelly, shoes, underwear, hooded vests — heck, there was even a Michael Jordan-branded driving range near my house when I was growing up. With very few things excepted, if you can dream it, you can buy a Michael Jordan version of it.

But since he stopped hawking Chevy Blazers a few years back, you haven’t been able to get a M.J. car. Maybe that’s because he didn’t want to be associated with Detroit in any way, shape or form, but it’s probably because us mortals couldn’t even begin to fathom how much a Michael Jordan-style car could even cost.

Judging by the Mercedes he’s selling on eBay — yes, really — I’d say that last reason is valid.

Here’s what you get for the low “Buy It Now” price of $429,998:

You are looking at a very rare Mercedes Benz SLR 722 in mint condition. Clean 1 owner Carfax. This was the one and only Michael Jordan’s 722 with title signed by him! This car is loaded with carbon fiber from the hood to the floor pans and wheel wells. Still has Mercedes Benz factory warranty till aug of 2011 or 50,000. Comes with all papers, books, keys, trickle charger, k40 radar, and SLR car cover. Owned by the one and only, Michael Jordan.

Oh, good, the trickle charger is included. I was a little wary of putting in a bid on this until I read that the trickle charger was included. What good is having Michael Jordan’s Mercedez Benz SLR 722 if it doesn’t include the trickle charger? Phew. Glad that’s there.

It might seem silly for Michael Jordan to be getting rid of such a nice car — especially on eBay, which is the really confusing thing about this whole situation since you’d think MJ would have a better way of selling an old hooptie than an auction site where I bought a pair of used LL Bean boots — but he’s 47 now. He’s probably looking to settle down a little and stretch his bejeaned legs in something a bit more sensible. Perhaps he’ll get a nice Corolla. Those things last forever and get excellent gas mileage. Not to mention, he did just buy the Charlotte Bobcats, so it’s probably nice to have a little walking-around money.

The auction ends Oct. 31 and it’d really drive your Michael Jordan Halloween costume over the top. Just enter thousands of costume contests and you’ll have this thing paid off in no time.

(via USA Today/Marcel Mutoni)