I know what you’re thinking — it’s way too early for Ken Jeong to be Ken Jeong-ing in your ear canals. Well, think again, Buster Brown. These new adidas commercials will be the best 67 seconds of your morning.

Up top you’ve got Ken — oops, “Slim Chin” — with Chicago Bulls superstar Derrick Rose and fancy luxury items such as a lady pyramid, caviar pool and a solid gold jet ski that would make Mikhail Prokhorov jealous if he had emotions. Down below you’ve got Slim and Dwight Howard, plus a pet cheetah, a human-sized stack of hundred dollar bills and a private plane. Standard rich guy stuff.

Check ‘em out, have a laugh, then get just a little bit sad that somebody somewhere could really own all of these things and that it’s not you. I know I’m bummed that I’ll never have a chance to swim in a pool full of fish eggs while my cheetah growls softly.