Blake Griffin has looked very good this preseason. He’s been dunking all over everyone. He’s playing so hard you get tired watching him. Best of all, he’s showing no lingering effects from last season’s knee injury and surgery. He’s been so good, in fact, that people are tripping over themselves to say just how good he is.

First, ESPN’s Bill Simmons called him one of the five best power forwards in the league. A bit premature, but that’s nothing compared to the Orange County Register’s Earl Bloom who is already calling Griffin the second best player in Los Angeles, ahead of Pau Gasol, Lamar Odom, Ron Artest and Baron Davis. And even that’s nothing when you see that Bloom compared Griffin to one of the best young centers in the NBA and two legendary Hall of Famers. No biggie.

Griffin is an energy player. Think Joakim Noah, only with ball skills. The Clippers don’t have to run plays for Griffin; he’ll get his points, and lots of them, in the flow of the game.

Think young Karl Malone, only with a bit more athleticism, and maybe missing the mean streak (although we might see that emerge).

Defensively, Griffin already is accomplished. Again, his extreme effort takes him above and beyond. He gets steals and makes deflections like few big men. Think Hakeem Olajuwon.

OK, so Blake Griffin is a more skilled Joakim Noah who plays like a more athletic Karl Malone with the defensive instincts of Hakeem Olajuwon. Basically, he’s one of the best offensive players ever combined with one of the best defensive players ever, plus a little rising star, just for good measure. Blake Griffin, apparently, will win every single MVP for the rest of his NBA career. Good to know.

But that’s not it — Griffin also has a lot of other skills that may seem familiar:

  • Makes omelets like a young Jacques Pépin, only fluffier.
  • Writes piano ballads like Paul McCartney, but more touching.
  • Acts in summer blockbusters like Will Smith only with higher box office potential.
  • Paints like Leonardo da Vinci, but is probably a better inventor.
  • Throws knives like Paul Hogan, only faster.
  • Similar to 1983 Eddie Murphy, but funnier and without the raunchy streak.
  • Dresses like a young Yves Saint Laurent, just with better taste.
  • As strong as Arnold Schwarzenegger, but with more muscle definition.

So yeah, Blake Griffin is kind of a big deal. Rookie of the Year is basically a given. He’s really shooting for Rookie of the Forever, which he’ll win easily.

Comments (21)

  1. he also shoots free throws like shaq. he really is a combination of the greatest big men of all time.

  2. Blake Griffin is probably making a mashup of “Let it Be” and “November Rain” as we speak.

  3. Just heard that Blake Griffin is remaking “The Godfather,” but he’s going to add in some stuff from “Pulp Fiction.”

  4. Lovee it..keep up the good/hilarious work Trey, glad to have you here enhancing TBJ!

  5. He writes articles like Trey Kerby, only…

  6. this is definitely pretty funny…just sucks that all of this is at griffin’s expense, where he did nothing to really deserve this. he actually is really good and i don’t want these jokes getting in the way of what the guy can really do.

  7. The L.A. announcers for Tuesday’s preseason game against Sacramento added some other great tidbits. For instance, Blake Griffin is the biggest thing to hit the NBA since LeBron, possibly even since Jordan. I’m not making this up.

  8. @greg i watch clipper games for the most part, and i’m prettty sure they didn’t say anything about jordan. and sure, he may be the biggest thing since lebron. since 2003, there haven’t been many other rooks who are head and shoulders above griffin, other than maybe chris paul and dwight howard.

  9. and i did watch the sacramento game from start to finish and they never said anything about that.

  10. Blake Griffin also plays baseball, except when he comes to bat, the pitcher turns and throws the ball over the outfield wall, just so he can watch it leave the park on his own terms.

  11. Blake Griffin is the new Chuck Norris, only deadlier

  12. Blake Griffin IS the top 5 power forwards in the game.

  13. Blake Griffin saved my farm from foreclosure.

  14. The impending lockout will have nothing to do with financial issues. Every player in the league is so terrified of Blake Griffin that they’re retiring.

  15. Blake Griffin is the All Spark in “Transformers,” but sparkier.

  16. Blake Griffin can teach Kevin Garnett how to read.

  17. from a clips fan to all of those who arent….we have a 21 year old blake and you dont….tell your favorite player to “get out of the way ” or they may get hurt….i already put my orders in for all of the “posters”…….blake superior is coming to an arena near you.

  18. LOL! This is hilarious.

  19. Hilarious, funny, but the truth neverhteless.

  20. Time to get excited! And if “the beast” will not make you excited, time for you to get your check up with your doctor. Just the mention of his name get’s everybody stop and listen.
    What more if one sees him play.

  21. [...] comparisons, Mike Smith. Better yet, great comparisons. The best comparisons, really. Dude’s a regular Earl Bloom over here.I’m guessing the outtakes reveal Blake has the mind of Enrico Fermi, the singing [...]

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