Lightning-quick recaps of the night that was, five days a week.

Boston Celtics 88, Miami Heat 80
Sure it’s early, but the Heat are on pace to finish the season 0-82, last in the league in scoring and last in shooting percentage. That’s significant because they probably won’t improve at all throughout the year.

Portland Trail Blazers 106, Phoenix Suns 92
I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes — Andre Miller does look really weird with a buzz cut.

Los Angeles Lakers 112, Houston Rockets 110
Somehow, despite Brad Miller and Pau Gasol guarding each other for large portions of this game and Pau greeting the Staples Center crowd with a very gentlemanly “Hello everyone,” I found a way to wake up this morning. Life does go on, I suppose.

More analysis to come in The Fix. For now, let’s talk hoops down below.