Last night, in their win over the Golden State Warriors, the Los Angeles Lakers all took some time to do some thinking. But what, exactly, were they contemplating?
“This skin, it feels so … human. So life-like. I bet everyone thinks it’s real and that I’m not a cyborg specifically created to play basketball. That injuries program they installed last year really added some realism. Remember to smile occasionally.”
“That Pau Gasol, he’s one goofy looking dude with that kind-of beard he’s got going on. That’s my guy, though. He really gets it.”
“M’encanta tocar la barbeta, com Derek Fisher.”
“It really is incredible to be able to think in English and in Catalan. Sometimes, I amuse myself. Here, let me think in French: ‘Je suis un bon danseur.’ Now Italian: ‘Una volta ho avuto una macchia ospite su CSI: Miami.’ Ha ha, Pau, you are too funny at making jokes in different languages.”
“Chick peas. Bananas. Purple. Acorns. Magnets. The Diplomats. Miss you, Cam’Ron. Ice skates. Walt Whitman. One time I saw Eminem talking to a cactus. Bunny rabbits with unicorn horns dancing in a forest made of couches. Polygons. Frankenstein. Frankincense. Frankfurters. Bethenny Frankel. Probably going to build an iPhone app after the game. Chipotle.”
“When is Sasha going to stop calling himself ‘White Mamba?’”
“When is Kobe going to start calling me ‘White Mamba?”