Proposed nicknames for 29 NBA benches

Phil Jackson has been so impressed with the bench play of the Los Angeles Lakers that he’s dubbed his second unit “The Renegades.” Either he’s a huge Patrick Swayze fan or he still has a little of that rebel spirit of the 1970′s living inside of him. Either way, it’s not fair for the Lakers’ bench to be the only nicknamed crew in the league. Here are suggestions for the other 29 teams:

Eastern Conference

Atlanta Hawks — Big Head Za and the Monsters

Boston Celtics — Three Men and a Big Baby

Charlotte Bobcats — The Bust Brigade

Chicago Bulls — Some Dudes

Cleveland Cavaliers — Someone Still Loves You, Antawn Jamison

Detroit Pistons — Cash Money Billionaires

Indiana Pacers — The Game Barn

Miami Heat — The Juwan Howards

Milwaukee Bucks — Bloggers Like Us

New Jersey Nets — Better Than Last Year

New York Knicks — Jerome James’ Mausoleum of Terror

Orlando Magic — The Scorceror’s Apprentices

Philadelphia 76ers — Squiggly Red Lines

Toronto Raptors — Miss You, 2007

Washington Wizards — Vomitron

Western Conference

Dallas Mavericks — The Wedding Collection

Denver Nuggets — Headband Collective

Golden State Warriors — Shoot It, Wayne

Houston Rockets — Brad Miller and the Traveling Bro Show

Los Angeles Clippers — Yikes Patrol

Memphis Grizzlies —  Edgar

Minnesota Timberwolves — The En Guard Society

New Orleans Hornets — I Am Peja

Oklahoma City Thunder — Da Bess, Mayne

Phoenix Suns — Aloe Vera

Portland Trail Blazers — The Sound Personnel Moves

Sacramento Kings — The Too-Tall Gang

San Antonio Spurs — Cinnamon in Eggs

Utah Jazz — Yuppster

Corrections? Suggestions? Lotions? Let us know in the comments.

Comments (17)

  1. C’mon Man, Shaq gave us a name already! “The Boston Bench Mob”.

  2. Toronto Raptors – We Should Be Starting

  3. You had me at “Vomitron”.

  4. “The Boston Bench Mob” is too much of a rip-off of the Sacramento Kings’ “Bench Mob” in the early 2000s. STRICKEN FROM THE RECORD!

  5. Yikes Patrol just made me choke on a sip of coffee. You’re officially a crew member of the S.S. Thumbsupmanship.

  6. C’mon Trey, I know that you’re capable of more. Most of these nicknames are interchangeable, most aren’t funny. Do you have a post quota to hit per day or something?

  7. Yupster? Sheesh. How about ‘Fesenko’s People of the Bench’ or ‘Blazers Tryout Squad’

  8. I dislike Trey Kerby. Now I know why some hate Kelly with a passion over at Yahoo.

  9. New Orleans Hornets — “Our name would be a lot cooler if we wouldn’t have cut Mustafa Shakur.”

  10. “Someone Still Loves You, Antawn Jamison” is straight wonderful.

  11. The Nuggets’ should have been “Ink’d.” Or is that taken?

  12. Yeah, except for a few, this was not your strongest blog entry…

    I disagree with Mikeliuxd though, because you can’t compare the mostly-funny-but-somewhat-bad-at-times Trey Kerby with the awfully horrible joke of a journalist/blogger that is Kelly Dwyer. You can’t imagine how much I hate him, I fear Yahoo! Sports because of him and Chris Chase.

  13. the Bobcats should be D’s Nuts for the underrated Derrick Brown

  14. That was toilet paper Trey. Sorry, but that really was Dwyer-esque.

  15. Someone Still Loves You, Antawn Jamison. Still lolling.

  16. lol’d inrl so early and often (election day)
    Game Barn = wowzookeeums

  17. Dallas Mavericks — The Wedding Collection is best :D

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