Atlanta Hawks 94, Detroit Pistons 85
Josh Smith is leading the NBA with 20 blocks in five games. He’s also shooting 60 percent from long range this season. Furthermore, the Hawks remain undefeated. I don’t want to go out on too big of a limb here, but if Atlanta goes 82-0 and Josh Smith continues to block four shots a game while making three out of every five threes he takes, he’ll probably win the MVP. That’d be awkward, considering he’s the one who isn’t getting piz-aid.

Charlotte Bobcats 85, New Jersey Nets 83
The Bobcats were down by 10 with five minutes left to play. Then, the New Jersey Nets were like, “Oh yeah, we’re the Nets,” and proceeded to get outscored by 12 over the final 300 seconds of the game. Oh, and D.J. Augustin made two free throws to win this for the Bobcats. So, you know, big-time ratings killer here.

Philadelphia 76ers 101, Indiana Pacers 75
The three Pacers who made more than half of their shots were Josh McRoberts (4-6), Solomon Jones (3-4) and Dahntay Jones (2-3). It is very surprising that the Pacers lost.

Orlando Magic 128, Minnesota Timberwolves 86
This was a game between the Magic and the Timberwolves. What did you expect?

Boston Celtics 105, Milwaukee Bucks 102 OT
Rajon Rondo was such a disappointment last night. Only 15 assists to go with his 17 points and eight rebounds. Such a slacker, that guy. Can’t even play up to his average assist total. Colossal letdown.

New Orleans Hornets 107, Houston Rockets 99
If I were to tell you before the season started that the Hornets would start 4-0 and the Rockets would start 0-4, you probably wouldn’t have believed me. Not because time travel isn’t yet possible, but because you have trust issues that you need to work on with your therapist.

Dallas Mavericks 102, Denver Nuggets 101
I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes. When he’s wearing dress clothes, Chris Andersen does look like a creepier version of Karl Lagerfeld, which I didn’t even think was possible.

Utah Jazz 125, Toronto Raptors 108
Reggie Evans was outrebounded by Deron Williams (6 to 8) last night, but Deron Williams was outbearded by Reggie Evans. Fair trade, I’d say.

San Antonio Spurs 112, Phoenix Suns 110
Surprise, surprise — the Spurs and the Suns played a close game that was decided in the fourth quarter. It’s almost like the NBA turned the “keep scores close” option for these two teams. Also of note: Richard Jefferson is a real Spur now, since he hit four three-pointers from Bruce Bowen’s corner in the final frame. Assimilation takes some time.

Los Angeles Lakers 112, Sacramento Kings 100
Kobe Bryant had 32 points, 10 rebounds and 12 assists in 36 minutes. Having a hand in half of your team’s points is pretty good, I think. He should try to do that more often.

Golden State Warriors 115, Memphis Grizzlies 109
Monta Ellis scored 39 points and added 9 rebounds and 8 assists. Rudy Gay had 35 points and 7 rebounds. But, of course, Vladimir Radmanovic led both teams in plus-minus with plus-14 in 15 minutes. I’m not saying plus-minus is a bad stat, but I’m pretty much saying that.

Los Angeles Clippers 107, Oklahoma City Thunder 92
Kevin Durant had as many turnovers as made shots — six of each — because he is an absolutely terrible basketball player who will never amount to anything and has no natural talent, charisma or skill. He can’t even grow a proper goatee. Who, in their right mind, would want to build a franchise around this guy? (Everyone.)

More analysis to come on The Fix. Let’s hear what you have to say about these basketball games.

Comments (3)

  1. trey, these morning game posts are hilarious – keep up the great work.

  2. Its all because J-smoove stopped using nair and now shaves with barbasol like the rest of us

  3. Can anyone tell me why the hell Amir Johnson has played a combined 18 minutes in the last two games? Hasn’t been in foul trouble, matchups maybe?
    Seems odd that after he signed that extension Triano stopped playing him. Weird stuff.

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