“It’s the freakin’ weekend.” — R. Kelly

I think we can all agree that truer, greater words have never been uttered. Here’s your weekend viewing guide.

Boston Celtics at Oklahoma City Thunder — Sunday
Big, big test for the Thunder who have struggled a little bit in the past few games. The Celtics feast on struggling teams, so this should be interesting. The Celtics also feast on ribs, so they might be gassy.

Houston Rockets at San Antonio Spurs — Saturday
The Rockets are 0-4. Yao Ming only gets to play 24 minutes a game, every other day. Brad Miller is hurt. They play the Spurs this weekend. If you’re 6-foot-10 or taller, please report to Houston immediately. Lookin’ at you, Erick Dampier.

Chicago Bulls at Boston Celtics — Friday
Now that Brad Miller and Kirk Hinrich are gone from the Bulls, who is Rajon Rondo going to hit with a cheap shot? If the pattern holds, Kyle Korver seems like a logical target.

Memphis Grizzlies at Sacramento Kings — Saturday
Winner of this game gets all of the headbands Bonzi Wells left in the ARCO Arena. Loser has to smell them.

Utah Jazz at Golden State Warriors — Friday
Holy smokes, there is going to be a lot of scoring during this game. The Jazz are rolling right now, scoring 120 or more in their last two games. The Warriors have the leading scorer in the NBA in Monta Ellis who’s averaging 30 points per game. Don’t blink, unless you’re eyes get dry. That’s just sensible.

If anything awesome goes down, we’ll be around. Be safe.