Dennis Velasco is a fantasy writer, but not in the gross Internet way. We’re talking basketball here, creeps. Or, rather, he is.

Welcome to the first edition of The Fantasy Jumpoff on The Basketball Jones … or “TFJ on TBJ” for those of you that are syllabically-challenged. Each week I will put forth tons of informative information that will inform you of all things informational about fantasy basketball for the following week. “Be prepared” as the Boy Scouts of America say! Or is it the dudes from “Jersey Shore?”

In any case, other than being empirically awesome, why should you listen to me? I’ve written about fantasy basketball all over the Internets on such sites as glocksandhoops.com, idontjumpropeijumpshot.com, and kittens.com. Street cred, for real.

And like Auguste Rodin would, I will be chiseling this fine weekly fantasy basketball column as we move forward in the next few weeks. I’m open to any suggestions, other than picking up the soap at a communal shower. Fool me once and all that. So, feel free to leave comments below as to what you’d like to read about from week-to-week and I’ll do my best to accommodate. Let’s go!

Categorically Speaking – Waiver Wire Pick-Ups by Category

Points — Toney Douglas, PG/SG, New York Knicks; 16% owned in Yahoo! leagues

In Douglas’ last three games, he’s hit 2.7 triples on average, including an explosive 5-for-9 against the Bulls. He’s scored in double-figures in every game thus far this season and will get his minutes (27.7) backing up both guard positions. Douglas has been the first or second player off the bench for the offensively-minded Knicks and getting his chucks in, averaging 11 shot attempts per in limited minutes. He’s currently shooting an outstanding 54.8 percent from the field, which will inevitably fall like Troy. However, he shot a respectable 45.8 percent as a rookie last season.

Others to Consider
C.J. Miles, SG/SF, Utah Jazz; 10% owned (40 points/2 games)
DeMar DeRozan, SG/SF, Toronto Raptors; 50% owned (54 points/3 games)
Al Thornton, SF/PF, Washington Wizards; 26% owned (36 points/2 games)
Grant Hill, SG/SF, Phoenix Suns; 32% owned (36 points/2 games)

Three-Pointers Made — C.J. Miles, SG/SF, Utah Jazz; 10% owned in Yahoo! leagues

In the past week, which consisted of two games for Miles and the Jazz, he went wild from behind the arc, hitting eight treys. Miles played about 25 minutes in each game off the bench and started chucking. In the two previous games, Miles only played about 14 minutes and took four shots in both games. Now here’s where the mathematical magic comes in. In the first two games, the Jazz lost. In the last two games, the Jazz won. If I’m Jerry Sloan, I give Miles his burn on the court. Of course I’m not stupid enough to think Miles has been the only difference-maker in the Jazz Ws and Ls, but his +15 differential for the season is pretty good, especially juxtaposed to Deron Williams +13.

Others to Consider
Toney Douglas, PG/SG, New York Knicks; 16% owned (2.7 3PTM/3 games)
Omri Casspi, SG/SF, Sacramento Kings; 32% owned (2.5 3PTM/4 games)
Eddie House, PG/SG, Miami Heat; 8% owned (2.3 3PTM/3 games)
Marco Belinelli, SG, New Orleans Hornets; 17% owned (2.0 3PTM/3 games)

Rebounds — Reggie Evans, PF, Toronto Raptors; 24% owned in Yahoo! leagues

Evans is excellent at grabbing balls and I don’t mean Chris Kaman’s. He’s currently third in the league — averaging 13.8 rebounds in four games — and with Chris Bosh now gone, Evans is getting a career-high 32 minutes per contest. While I like Amir Johnson’s upside, Evans is the man at the four, especially since no one else on the starting front line looks to grab boards. I’m not saying that Andrea Bargnani (4.5 RPG) and Linas Kleiza (3.5 RPG) don’t like to clean the glass, but they do believe that Windex is a cure-all like the dad in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.”

Others to Consider
Ben Wallace, PF/C, Detroit Pistons; 19% owned (35 rebounds/4 games)
Udonis Haslem, PF/C, Miami Heat; 31% owned (28 rebounds/3 games)
Derrick Favors, PF, New Jersey Nets; 43% owned (28 rebounds/3 games)
Shelden Williams, PF, Denver Nuggets; 16% owned (27 rebounds/3 games)

Assists — Kirk Hinrich, PG/SG, Washington Wizards; 31% owned in Yahoo! leagues

Hinrich is the back-up for stellar rookie John Wall, and is currently learning how to Dougie in order to hang with the first year phenom. Unfortunately for Hinrich, his Dougie is looking more like a hybrid of the running man and cabbage patch. Luckily, he’s been getting it done on the court, averaging five assists in the very small sample of three games this season. He’s currently starting in place of Gilbert Arenas while Arenas nurses an injury to his ego … I mean, ankle. In any case, Hinrich has a pretty good crew around him to finish off any dimes he happens to dish and is a good short-term pick-up for assists, but not dance lessons.

Others to Consider
Goran Dragic, PG/SG, Phoenix Suns; 13% owned (12 assists/2 games)
Jose Calderon, PG, Toronto Raptors; 53% owned (15 assists/3 games)
Jarret Jack, PG/SG, Toronto Raptors; 53% owned (13 assists/3 games)
Ty Lawson, PG, Denver Nuggets; 12% owned (13 assists/3 games)

Steals — Corey Brewer, SG/SF, Minnesota Timberwolves; 15% owned in Yahoo! leagues

Brewer is an energy guy and he has some credibility in filling up the pilfering category. The credibility isn’t a criminal record that Dexter would consider, but rather his 1.2 steals per game career average. In his first two seasons he averaged a steal a game, and last season he upped it to 1.4 per contest. Thus far his thievery level is at 1.8 steals per and there’s been a consistency this season as Brewer has stolen the rock in all five of the T-Wolves’ games, including two each in the last four. Now, he’ll be inserted into the starting line-up, replacing rookie Wayne Ellington, so expect the minutes and rips.

Others to Consider
Toney Douglas, PG/SG, New York Knicks; 18% owned (7 steals/3 games)
Eddie House, PG/SG, Miami Heat; 8% owned (6 steals/3 games)
Eric Bledsoe, PG/SG, Los Angeles Clippers; 13% owned (5 steals/4 games)
Anthony Parker, SG, Cleveland Cavaliers; 8% owned (5 steals/3 games)

Blocks — Darko Milicic, PF/C, Minnesota Timberwolves; 35% owned in Yahoo! leagues

Daaaaaaarkooooo! Other than inspiring a website and ire of every Detroit Pistons fan, Milicic knows how to block. For his career, he owns an average of 1.2 rejections per game in only 17.5 minutes. For the season, he’s averaging 2.6 stuffs in about 20 minutes per in five games. He’s a legit seven-footer and Yugoslavian.  What the latter has to do with anything is a mystery, but being tall is conducive to being able to put a backwards NBA Commissioner David Stern signature across players’ foreheads. Isn’t it funny that Milicic is so good at rejections? Isn’t bizarro-esque.

Others to Consider
Brendan Haywood, C, Dallas Mavericks; 51% owned (6 blocks/3 games)
Jermaine O’Neal, C, Boston Celtics; 32% owned (5 blocks/2 games)
Ronny Turiaf, C, New York Knicks; 18% owned (5 blocks/3 games)
Tyson Chandler, C, Dallas Mavericks; 39% owned (4 blocks/4 games)

Fantasy Thoughts to Jump Off From

– I don’t understand why some owners are giving up on Nicolas Batum, who is currently owned in 77% of Yahoo! leagues. The dude is a jack-of-all-trades type that contributes in several categories and is a definite buy-low candidate.

– Chris Bosh has suffered the most of The Big Three, averaging 13.0 points and 6.4 rebounds this season after a 20-10 (24.0/10.8) campaign last season. It’s safe to assume he’ll be the Larry Fine of the trio.

– It’s a few years too late for most of us that have been playing this crazy game for a while, but Elton Brand is back! He’s currently ranked as the top player in Yahoo!, averaging 18.0 points, 9.6 rebounds, 1.8 blocks, and shooting 56.1 from the field and 88.9% from the charity stripe. Needless to say, he’s a sell-high candidate. It’s like hiring Megan Fox for your movie, which is awesome at first, but then she starts to “act” and it’s frustration city.

Number of Team Games in Week 3

Four Games: ATL, CHA, GSW, MIN, NYK, ORL, SAS, TOR, UTA
Three Games:
BOS, CHI, CLE, DAL, DEN, DET, HOU, IND, LAC, LAL, MEM, MIA, MIL, NJN, OKC, PHI, PHO, POR, SAC, WAS
Two Games:
NOR

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