One of the keys to losing weight is not eating late at night. When you sleep your metabolism slows to a crawl and digesting a lot of calories prior to falling asleep is a sure-fire way to pack on the pounds. Not to mention, when you’re eating at night, odds are it’s not health food. Rare is the person who needs a few quick florets of broccoli to hit the hay.
You’re probably wondering what this has to do with the NBA. Well, more than anything, it’s a public service announcement for Washington Wizards forward Andray Blatche. He needs our help, you guys. From the Washington Post:
Blatche admits that he often has a hard time sleeping at night and rarely closes his eyes before 1:30 a.m. If he’s in bed before then, he’ll click the remote and watch some television until he dozes off. But staying up late usually leads to cravings for snacks.
“I eat late, that’s how I gain weight,” Blatche said.
Well, that certainly explains why he looks like a slovenly RZA. And also, kinda, why his arms are so sweaty. Sure, they were pretty moist before, but they’re even wetter this season. Really weird, really gross.
Of course, Blatche was recovering from foot surgery this summer, so he couldn’t train. Not training plus bad eating late at night leads to a sizable midsection. Trust me on that one.
He needs our help if he wants to regain that form that saw him almost get a triple-double. So please, if you’re in Washington, D.C., and see Andray Blatche heading out for some late night Chipotle, alert the Wizards. And, while you’re at it, unplug JaVale McGee’s Segway. One out of shape big guy is enough.