Yesterday, Jason Whitlock deemed Chris Bosh “too soft to be the third wheel of the ‘Big Three,’” because that is the sort of thing that Jason Whitlock does. That it came hours before Bosh was dismantled by Jazz forward Paul Millsap was quite poetic, even if the assertion that Bosh should be traded after seven games is ludicrous.
Even more ludicrous was Whitlock’s supposition that Bosh put up big numbers in Toronto because opposing teams were too tired due to the fact that “when visiting NBA players cross the Canadian border they put far more effort into acquiring condoms, loonies and a strip-club champagne room than their on-court assignments.” Sure, it’s an awesome theory, but it ain’t true.
Just ask noted strip club connoisseur Jarrett Jack, which the National Post’s Bruce Arthur did.
Raptors guard Jarrett Jack, when informed of the notion, similarly arched an eyebrow and said, “Some people are stupid, man. Like really? Really? That’s why he was good, because of strip clubs? There aren’t strip clubs in Miami, there aren’t strip clubs in L.A., there aren’t strip clubs everywhere else? I haven’t been to any of the strip clubs here, so they can’t be that damn good.”
Duh. If Jarrett Jack isn’t in the strip clubs, you know they’re not that good. He’s Toronto’s answer to Jamaal Tinsley, so he’d know whether or not the quality is enough to distract an NBA player from their duties. Don’t doubt the man’s taste.
Toronto’s an excellent city, we can all agree on that. It might even be the “White Vegas” that Whitlock claims, despite it’s reputation as one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world. But, thanks to Jarrett Jack, I think it’s pretty fair to say that strip clubs aren’t the reason that Chris Bosh was really, really good when he was on the Raptors.
Nice try, Jason Whitlock, but I think this episode of “Mythbusters: Toronto” has thoroughly disproved your strip club theory. Tune in next week to see whether or not Andrea Bargnani actually has internal organs.