Yesterday, Jason Whitlock deemed Chris Bosh “too soft to be the third wheel of the ‘Big Three,’” because that is the sort of thing that Jason Whitlock does. That it came hours before Bosh was dismantled by Jazz forward Paul Millsap was quite poetic, even if the assertion that Bosh should be traded after seven games is ludicrous.

Even more ludicrous was Whitlock’s supposition that Bosh put up big numbers in Toronto because opposing teams were too tired due to the fact that “when visiting NBA players cross the Canadian border they put far more effort into acquiring condoms, loonies and a strip-club champagne room than their on-court assignments.” Sure, it’s an awesome theory, but it ain’t true.

Just ask noted strip club connoisseur Jarrett Jack, which the National Post’s Bruce Arthur did.

Raptors guard Jarrett Jack, when informed of the notion, similarly arched an eyebrow and said, “Some people are stupid, man. Like really? Really? That’s why he was good, because of strip clubs? There aren’t strip clubs in Miami, there aren’t strip clubs in L.A., there aren’t strip clubs everywhere else? I haven’t been to any of the strip clubs here, so they can’t be that damn good.”

Duh. If Jarrett Jack isn’t in the strip clubs, you know they’re not that good. He’s Toronto’s answer to Jamaal Tinsley, so he’d know whether or not the quality is enough to distract an NBA player from their duties. Don’t doubt the man’s taste.

Toronto’s an excellent city, we can all agree on that. It might even be the “White Vegas” that Whitlock claims, despite it’s reputation as one of the most culturally diverse cities in the world. But, thanks to Jarrett Jack, I think it’s pretty fair to say that strip clubs aren’t the reason that Chris Bosh was really, really good when he was on the Raptors.

Nice try, Jason Whitlock, but I think this episode of “Mythbusters: Toronto” has thoroughly disproved your strip club theory. Tune in next week to see whether or not Andrea Bargnani actually has internal organs.

Comments (12)

  1. Jack played in Portland. He *knows* his strip clubs.

  2. 1. It is are stronger beer not wear you consume it.

    2. I have been told ( Not that I would know personally) the strip clubs in Niagara Falls are far superior to those in Toronto.

    Jokes a side that was a bunch of stereotypical B.S being spewed about Canada.

  3. Portland? Toronto?…. give me a break..Jarrett Jack lives in Atlanta in the offseason. He really does know his strip clubs.

  4. Every Raptor fan knows that the 12 PM Sunday game is worth more wins than half the roster.
    Someone go through Bosh’s splits for Sunday 12:00 home games and then Whitlock may have an argument.

  5. When Strip clubs make it into your city’s Wikipedia page, I’d say they are part of the fabric of your community. But … Atlanta… yeah. I’ll concede that point.,_Oregon#Free_speech

  6. I didn’t realize Portland was that big of a hub of strip clubs.. consider me informed now.

  7. It really depends on taste. Toronto’s strip-clubs are really quite good, for the average joe. What it lacks is the super high-end clubs that you get in Miami and Atlanta.

    The real issue here, though, is that Bosh is soft and Whitlock, though certainly hyperbolic, was right on the money. This is going to keep coming up as Miami continues to get beaten down low by teams with solid bigs and a good point guard.

  8. Come on now, everyone knows that Montreal has the best collection of strip clubs in Canada if not North America (with the possible exception of Vegas).

  9. Jack is right. This theory is stupid. Canadian strip clubs might be exciting for the average American. But, not for NBA players. The whole world is a Canadian strip club for them.

  10. [...] “I haven’t been to any of the strip clubs here, so they can’t be that damn good.” (The Basketball Jones)Also on the Jones blog, I posted the videos for Paul Millsap’s 11 points in 28 seconds last [...]

  11. I’ve always felt that Atlanta benefits from it’s strip club advantage, but it might have dropped off after the Gold Club closed.

    I agree with his take that Bosh isn’t the right fit for what Miami needs in a 3rd man, but if they were a little stronger at either of the other two starting spots it wouldn’t be much of an issue.

  12. I visit atlanta about twice a yr , and they have strip clubs on every level from local to high-end …with girls who can actually dance and look great to boot , i live in T.O and i would even give montreal the edge on us too. nothing special here with our clubs , So jason is out to left field on this one.

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