We all know that Shaquille O’Neal is a big fan of jokes. The big guy is more than willing to dress as a woman and lip-sync Beyoncé or prance about in a Speedo. So, as you can imagine in the case of a horrifically overgrown manchild, Shaq loves him some pranks.

And, as you can imagine, since he’s Shaq, those pranks are really, really weird. Sports Illustrated’s Jimmy Traina talked to the Celtics center about his very odd sense of humor.

SI.com: What’s the best prank you’ve ever been apart of?

O’Neal: Hmm. Let me try to give you a clean version.

SI.com: Give me the dirty version.

O’Neal: Well, it wasn’t really a prank, it was a game we were playing, but we set a guy’s car on fire.

SI.com: When was this? Who’s car?

O’Neal: I can’t tell you any details. That’s it.

SI.com: What’s the best prank you can tell me about?

O’Neal: Best prank I pulled was on Lou Amundson in Phoenix. I took a Snickers bar, put it in some water to get it real brown and wet and put it in my hand. [Lou] came off the bench to go in the game, he had on white shorts, I rubbed it all over his shorts and said “good game, bro” So, when he was running on the court he thought he s— himself. [Laughs loudly]

Yep, those are some bizarre pranks. I mean, they’re so kooky that Shaq having a candy bar with him during a game seems almost normal. The guy set a car on fire and wiped fake poop all over his teammate’s shorts, so of course he’s going to keep a Snickers with him, just in case.

I guess when you’re 7-foot-1, 325 lbs. you can get away with those sort of things. The rest of us would be put in real jail for arson and fake jail for a lame prank like the Snickers thing. I’ll let you decide which is worse.