TBJ Top 5, featuring a bird of prey

Full schedule tonight, friendos. 10 whole games for your viewing pleasure. And since I need to wash my car, let’s get straight to the cream of the crop.

Utah Jazz at Orlando Magic
It’s really too bad that the Jazz are playing the second game of a back-to-back, because this could be an extraordinary game. It still could be, but the odds are a little decreased considering Utah already pulled off one stunner in the past 24 hours.

Dallas Mavericks at Memphis Grizzlies
Dirk Nowitzki is pretty much unguardable. Zach Randolph likes smashing in to people. They’ll be playing each other tonight and that’s going to look really weird. Kind of like a giraffe licking a rhinoceros.

Milwaukee Bucks at Atlanta Hawks
These two teams played an excellent playoff series last year. No telling if that means there’ll be bad blood betwixt the two, but if so, I’ve got my money on Ersan Ilyasova. Skinny guys fight ’til they’re burger.

Houston Rockets at Washington Wizards
Neither of these teams can guard anybody and both of them are certainly capable of lighting up the scoreboard. If that’s not your cup of tea then go read a vampire novel.

Minnesota Timberwolves at Sacramento Kings
Sometimes, it’s just nice to check on some of lesser teams in the NBA. You never know what might happen. For instance, I’m not expecting Nikola Pekovic to offer DeMarcus Cousins tips for creating effective spreadsheets, but it’s feasible.