TBJ Top 5, featuring shoe cake

You know, sometimes you just have to eat a shoe cake for your birthday. That’s a new saying, you guys, so feel free to use it whenever you want. The more often, the better. It’ll never get annoying.

This weekend is the shoe cake of our lives, my friends. Enjoy it.

Utah Jazz at Atlanta Hawks (Friday)
I think we can all agree that the Utah Jazz are an awesome watch right now. Between Deron Williams, their two amazing power forwards who alternate dominating games and Andrei Kirilenko’s amorphous hair, they’re just a very fun team to watch right now. Plus, we don’t have to deal with purple uniforms anymore. That’s an upgrade.

San Antonio Spurs at Oklahoma City Thunder (Sunday)
This is like that scene in “Back to the Future II” where young Elisabeth Shue runs in to old Elisabeth Shue and they both faint. Let’s just hope that doesn’t happen because that’d be a real bummer of a game.

Phoenix Suns at Los Angeles Lakers (Sunday)
Whenever these two teams get together to play basketball against each other, it’s an excellent game that is fun for everyone. But when they get together for a picnic, a pickup game that everyone takes way too seriously breaks out and ruins the meal. People just want to eat their potato salad in peace, geez.

Washington Wizards at Chicago Bulls (Saturday)
Hey-o, John Wall vs. Derrick Rose and it actually counts. Don’t blink or you’ll 300 to 400 milliseconds of basketball. So, actually, go ahead and blink because it’s good for your eyes, which you’ll need when you’re watching television.

New York Knicks at Minnesota Timberwolves (Friday)
These teams play two of the three fastest styles of basketball in the league, so that’ll be a good time. In other news, my friend asked me to mention Fat Lever this week, so here is a picture of him throwing a very fundamentally sound pass.