Video games these days are so real you can taste it. Taste what, I don’t know, but it’s true. With their crystal-clear graphics, sophisticated game play and attention to detail, playing a game is like playing a game but the real life version with sweat, smells and strategy.

And sometimes, apparently, off-the-court issues affect gameplay, just like in real life. Tony Parker found that out the hard way.

From Kotaku:

San Antonio Spurs all-star Tony Parker and Eva Longoria got dee-vorced last week, around the time it was discovered that Parker was doing some dribble-drive penetration with a former teammate’s wife. NBA 2K11′s latest roster update factors in the breakup.

Parker’s now rated “not loyal” for player management purposes (the background calculation went from an 87 to a 0, I was told) and his “steal” rating also got goosed up (to 79).

Clearly we’re all still broken up about the end of the Parker/Longoria romance, but this takes away a little bit of the sting. Divorce is no laughing matter, but a video game adjusting whether or not an animated character is more or less willing to re-sign with his team because his real life counterpart recently divorced from his actress wife is very humorous.

Real life events should affect video games more often, as far as I’m concerned. For instance, LeBron James’ decision-making rating should have went down after he decided “The Decision” was a good idea. Or after Hedo Turkoglu was caught chowing down on pizza, his stamina rating should have plummeted while his strength rating increased just a little bit.

There are so many opportunities for updates that I’m hoping this “NBA 2K11″ update is just the first of many. In fact, I think it’d be pretty neat if you guys added your proposed adjustments and their reasons in the comments below.

Comments (9)

  1. I just hope they put a headband on Brad Miller.

  2. Eddy Curry- Dunks raised 20 points because of new dunkin donuts sponsorship
    Brad Miller- Default selection in the Dunk Contest because of last night’s slamma jamma
    Stephen Jackson- Shooting arc made higher because of the shots in the air

  3. Bring back Jayson Williams, give him a 100 for ‘finish in traffic’

    http://www.terezowens.com/former-nba-all-star-unzipped-his-pants-and-played-with-himself-in-limo-full-of-men/

  4. Juwan Howard: 100 on curmudgeonyness
    Chris Bosh: 100 on amazing-raps-made-about-him-y
    Antoine Walker: 0 on attempts to stay relevant

  5. KG has got to get a lower “offensive awareness” since he doesn’t seem to be aware of how offensive he can be (“cancer patient”-gate)

    LBJ should get a better “defensive awareness”, seeing how defensive he gets these days in the media, but a lower “offensive rating”, since he’s just asking “what should I do?” with the ball…

    Brandon Rush needs to get a bump in puff-puff-”pass”

  6. Mildly off-topic, but I just want to let as many people know as possible:

    My NBA 2K10 hasn’t worked since 2K11 came out. The game freezes when it tries to update information, and it’s not feasible for me to disconnect from the internet every time I want to play. I have been in touch with the company, and their customer service is horrendous. I have never seen incompetence on this scale from a video game company.

    So enjoy 2K11, but know that the company is crap.

  7. I don’t blame 2K what more do you need than eva longoria

  8. New rating category added: Shaqness, specifically made for Shaquille O’Neal.

    Brandon Roy: Decrease all ratings every week he plays in the NBA. (Yikes. Too soon?)

    Add new “chill factor” rating to all players. (Give Juwan Howard the lowest rating; LeBron, Bosh and Wade the highest)

    Increase all of Greg Oden’s ratings significantly. He has finished his career with a 57.7 field goal percentage.

    Insert Kelly Dwyer’s old win-loss predictions that were debuted in the summer so we can see a reminder of how ridiculous they were. (KD is legit. His win predictions? Not so much.)

    Add category of “seriousness” and rate LeBron the lowest possible. Also, rate Tim Duncan’s the highest. (Cheer up, Tim.)

  9. D-Wade: Jump rating goes up due to his hang nail.

    Brad Miller: Awareness & Durability goes up due to miltary style ankle tape.

    Steve Nash: Potential rating goes up despite being late 30′s
    (due to having more time on his hands to do hilarous ads)

    Shaq: Steal rating going up due to stealing that idea for a show off Nash
    Strength up after being a statue?

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