Atlanta Hawks 80, Orlando Magic 74
Apparently the downgrade from Jameer Nelson to Chris Duhon is so great that the Magic can’t even score 75 points when the Raccoon is on the bench. That makes sense, I suppose, since this is Chris Duhon we’re talking about. He’s not exactly Magic Johnson off the bench, if you catch my drift.
Indiana Pacers 124, Toronto Raptors 100
Two straight very bad losses for the Raptors, who dropped to 8-13. Normally, this would mean that Jay Triano is on the hot seat, but we’ve been saying that for three weeks. Maybe another blowout loss does the job or maybe he’s going to coach the Raptors forever, like a bizarro Jerry Sloan.
New York Knicks 121, Minnesota Timberwolves 114
That’s five straight wins for the Knicks, who suddenly look very good. Sure, they’re beating up on bad teams and have only two victories against teams with winning records, but wins against the dregs of the NBA count just as much as good wins. Just don’t put on your comically oversized hat and tell a crowd of reporters that the Knicks are back, just yet.
Chicago Bulls 99, Oklahoma City Thunder 90
The Bulls currently have a better record both on the road and against the Western Conference. That tells me that if they can somehow find a way to get the eighth seed in the conference that they don’t play in, they’ll win the championship. Figure it out, Stern.
Miami Heat 88, Milwaukee Bucks 78
Five straight wins for the Heat including this snoozer against the Bucks. Call me crazy but 88-78 Miami is something that could have happened without all that free agent nonsense from this summer. Wake me up when the Heat are exciting again.
Utah Jazz 94, Memphis Grizzlies 88
Xavier Henry and Raja Bell might be the two worst starting guards in the NBA, so it’s pretty cool that they got to play against each other. You don’t often get to see that kind of ineptitude go head-to-head.
Los Angeles Clippers 98, Sacramento Kings 91
It’s kind of awesome that 13 points, 11 rebounds, 7 assists, 2 blocks and a steal is now considered a bad game for Blake Griffin. It’s also kind of awesome that he hasn’t cut his hair even though it looks like that.