Oh snip-snap, there are some serious basketball games basketballing tonight, my compatriots. We’re talking revenge games, rivalries and actually good teams playing other actual good teams. This is the good stuff that the B-52s were talking about all those years ago.
Miami Heat at Utah Jazz
A rematch of the game that made Paul Millsap a household name. I assume he is a household name, at least. I mean, all around my house we call things “Paul Millsap.” Chairs, appliances, our Christmas tree — it’s all Millsap. This is the case all around the globe, no?
Los Angeles Lakers “at” Los Angeles Clippers
This is pretty much Blake Griffin’s biggest chance to win over everyone in Los Angeles. If he dunks on everybody’s head like usual, some Lakers fans are going to buy in to the well-deserved hype. After that, a cameo on one of the “CSI” shows. Calling it now.
Denver Nuggets at Boston Celtics
The Nuggets seven game win streak was cruelly snapped just before George Karl got his 1,000th career win. Now, his second chance is against the Celtics, who are riding their own seven-gamer. Tough break, Georgie.
Golden State Warriors at San Antonio Spurs
If I were to tell you that the Spurs were playing at a faster pace than the Warriors this season, would you believe me? Well, I hope not because it’s a filthy lie. Nonetheless, San Antonio’s still playing a lot faster than in years past, so this should be some fun baskethoops.
Oklahoma City Thunder at Minnesota Timberwolves
When Kevin Durant and Michael Beasley get together to reminisce about their childhood spent together in Washington, D.C., they probably realize that they both bought way too many pairs of fake Oakleys outside of the Capitol building. Either that or having long arms and scoring lots of points.