Atlanta Hawks 116, New Jersey Nets 101
Atlanta’s won seven of their last eight games and four of five without Joe Johnson, who is having his arm reattached. That is not to say they’re better without him, but every Joe John-less win makes that contract look even sillier.
Philadelphia 76ers 117, Cleveland Cavaliers 97
Thaddeus Young missed one of his 12 shots from the field, hit all his free throws and sunk the one three-pointer he took. If Philly doesn’t work out, maybe he could play point guard for the Phoenix Suns.
Charlotte Bobcats 100, Denver Nuggets 98
I understand that Chauncey Billups has the ill-fitting nickname “Mr. Big Shot,” so he should be allowed to take game-tying jumpers on occasion. But maybe he should think about changing that to “Mr. Take My Time and Get It to Carmelo Anthony Who Is Totally Awesome in the Clutch.” Not very catchy, but it’s fitting.
Dallas Mavericks 105, Golden State Warriors 100
Sure, it is a very small sample size — just two games — but it should be noted that the Dallas Mavericks are undefeated in games in which Alexis Ajinca plays. The next logical conclusion is that he should start and then be given a massive contract to replace Dirk Nowitzki when he retires. Logical.
Houston Rockets 97, Detroit Pistons 83
Kevin Martin scored 21 points on three made shots and just one three-pointer. Either his other makes were both nine-pointers or he shot a lot of free throws. I’m betting nine-pointers, because those are real.
Portland Trail Blazers 106, Phoenix Suns 99
Steve Nash missed six shots from the field and one free throw. Clearly he sucks now and is the reason the Suns lost. I mean, if he’s not going to make every shot he takes while scoring 24 points and dishing out 15 assists, then what’s the point?
Los Angeles Lakers 115, Washington Wizards 108
Going in to this game, I’m sure everyone was thinking, “I bet this turns in to a shootout between Kobe Bryant and Nick Young, because he seems like the Wizard most likely to match Kobe point for point.” Correct prediction, fictional soothsayers. Totally makes sense.