Here comes Shaq-A-Claus

Ready for one of the most Shaquille O’Neal stories ever? A story so very Shaquille O’Neal that you say to yourself, “Yep, that’s Shaq, all right.”

Well, let’s hope you’re ready, because this very cool story might be the most Shaquille O’Neal of all-time. It comes courtesy of the Boston Herald.

Boston Celtics big guy Shaquille O’Neal donned a Santa hat and hosted a holiday bash for the kids from the Roxbury Boys and Girls Club in Dedham yesterday and a very merry time was had by all.

With his galpal Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander sitting on his lap like a regular Santa’s elf, the Big Man delivered toys to all the good girls and boys, played video games and dug into a big Italian buffet at the Buca di Beppo restaurant. [...]

Later he donned a single white glove, a la Michael Jackson, and he and Hoopz challenged the kids to a “Thriller” dance off on the just-released Ubisoft game “Michael Jackson: The Experience.”

Yep, that covers pretty much all the bases.

You’ve got Shaq goofing around, palling around with little kids while doing something good for the community, dancing, singing and eating a whole bunch of carb-heavy food. Heck, you’ve even got reality TV in the mix, thanks to his girlfriend. Just about everything that makes up Shaquille O’Neal happened in the space of a few paragraphs. That’s efficiency.

Oh, yeah. Basketball maybe should’ve been included somehow — and volunteer police work, for that matter — to really nail what it means to be Shaquille O’Neal. A 7-foot-1, Michael Jackson-dancing Santa Claus wearing Vibram shoes is awfully close, but I guess it’s back to the drawing board.

(via Red’s Army)