We can all agree that Andrei Kirilenko’s nickname — AK-47, natch — is one of the best around. He’s a Russian guy, he wears No. 47 and there’s a Russian rifle called the AK-47 that everybody knows about thanks to rap music. It’s perfect.

And since his nickname is so perfect, he seems like just the guy to ask for nickname suggestions. Thankfully, a Miami radio station did just that and they got this gem in response:

Whether there is another nickname in the league that is better than his:
“You know I thought if Pau Gasol would take #13 instead of #16, he would be PG13, which is pretty nice too, eh? I haven’t talked to him about that but I have thought about it.”

Pretty excellent, right? Not just his proposed Pau Gasol moniker, but also the fact that he spends time thinking of nicknames for other basketball players and that they’re similar to his. That’s amazing.

But what if it’s more than just Gasol that he’s considered. What if, by chance, Andrei Kirilenko has carefully considered pseudonyms for players around the league? It’s not out of the realm of possibility, since he’s already copped to doing so at least once.

Here’s what he probably considered:

  • “It would be pretty neat if Marresse Speights decided to wear No. 13 because then he could be MS-13 and everyone could call him ‘The World’s Most Dangerous Gang.’ Catchy, eh?”
  • “I wish Ed Davis wore No. 4 so that we could call him ED-4 which is almost like my favorite Will Smith movie.
  • “Too bad Vladimir Radmanovic’s middle name isn’t Christopher or Carl. I’d like to call him VCR. I miss VCRs.”
  • “Landry Fields really messed up by not wearing zero. LFO would be a great nickname because they were a great band. Rest in peace, Rich Cronin.”
  • “Obviously Nick Collison should wear No. 17 so he can be NC-17. I’m really in to the ratings nicknames.”

As you can see, the possibilities are endless. That’s why you should play along in the comments. It’s fun.

(via Deadspin)