As we’ve known for a while, David Lee’s elbow wound is gross. However, until horrifying pictures were revealed, we didn’t know just how gross his wound really was. Now we do and we can never unsee it. Sorry.
However, even though we can’t change the fact that our minds have been permanently scarred with the vision of that hole, we can try to fix it. Not with antibiotics, stitches or modern medicine — that’s too easy. Instead, we’ll try some alternate healing techniques that are sure to ease Lee’s suffering.
A cork would seem to be an easy fix. Just dip it in some rubbing alcohol and plug that hole right up. As long as David Lee really jams that sucker in there, oozing pus shouldn’t be a problem.
Or, if he’s a fancy bro, he can go the wine bottle stopper route. It might look like he has a doorknob sticking out of his elbow, but that’s a small price to pay for a little elegance.
It’s hard to tell from the picture above, but bleeding could be a concern. If so, there’s nothing better for stopping leaks than a sandbag. This would be a cheap solution as filling a burlap sack that small with a tiny bit of sand can’t be that expensive. Might be hard to keep everything sterile though.
Then again, this is David Lee’s problem and he should be the one to fix it. He can either get a miniature clone of himself and pop its head in his arm hole, or he can commission a tiny bobblehead in his likeness and do the same thing. Either way, transplant rejection becomes an almost moot point if this is the route he chooses to go.
But really, this is all Wilson Chandler’s fault. He’s the one who chomped down on Lee’s elbow, so it feels like he should be the one to fix it. That’s called paying it forward, which is something I learned from Haley Joel Osment.
As you can see, there are a lot of very effective solutions to this gross problem. Frankly, anything is better than looking at that gaping hole. This is only a jumping off point for Warriors team physicians to reference during their treatment. Let’s hope they make the right choice.