Tonight’s slate of games is like working from a Starbucks at Barnes and Noble. It kinda stinks and it’s frustrating because nothing is as good as you would hope, but it’s still better than nothing. That might seem like a strained metaphor, but I’m the one typing next to a case of baked goods. Trust me, it’s an apt comparison.

Minnesota Timberwolves at Golden State Warriors
Two of the four fastest teams in the league fight each other over who can score the most points in a basketball game. Clearly the “2 Fast 2 Furious” of tonight’s action.

Orlando Magic at Denver Nuggets
No Carmelo Anthony and no Chauncey Billups which basically means no chance of winning for the Nuggets. Except they’re at home, which means homecourt advantage. The Nuggs are 10-1 in Denver thus far. I personally guarantee that will change tonight.

Sacramento Kings at Houston Rockets
There’s no way to be sure, but I’d be willing to bet that every single player in this game wishes they played for the Rockets. Maybe not Courtney Lee, but he doesn’t really have a choice.

Atlanta Hawks at Detroit Pistons
The Pistons are bad at everything and play the second slowest basketball in the league. Really a marketer’s dream. “Come see our slow, bad basketball team that features old guys, guys who don’t care and guys who make too much money!” Nope.

Los Angeles Lakers at Washington Wizards
Hey, Andrew Bynum comes back tonight. Predictions for how soon he returns to the injured list? I’ll go 14 games, because I’m a big Sam Perkins fan.