It’ll only cost you $10,000 and I think it’s totally worth it. Not only will you have some amazing bragging rights — “I once partnered with LeBron James to throw his birthday party” — but you’ll also be getting some serious return on your money. Just look at what that 10 grand gets you:

  • Eyeballs. According to a slide in the sponsorship presentation, the “Event will attract athletes, models and musicians. As well as political leaders, socialites, tastemakers and affluent leaders from various industries including Art, Business and Finance.” Everybody knows that if you want to be successful, you need to attract the tastemakers and affluent leaders from the Business and Finance industries. That’s Money-Making 101. Sponsoring LeBron’s 26th birthday party gives you access to a “database of 50,000+ elite.” Boom.
  • More Eyeballs. The same slide touts that “This happening will consist of an A-List crowd of multicultural, savvy trendsetters, and jetsetters that reinvent and set the tone for a chic lifestyle.” Basically, you’re getting whatever you want in front of all these big-timers. That’s great strat.
  • Pictures. Nothing’s for sure, but you might get to get your picture taken with LeBron and his friends. Word on the street is that photos with Maverick Carter are selling like hot cakes on eBay.
  • Fingers. If you’re selling a product, you might be able to get that product in the gift bags. Don’t mess that up, guy who wants to sell cooked spaghetti.
  • Signage. You’ll be on the signs where everyone gets their pictures taken. Might be a nice place to throw up your .biz domain name and become the next I Can Haz Cheeseburger. Think about it.
  • Street cred. Quoting from another slide: “Involvement with this happening gives partners the opportunity to enhance media and marketing objectives by association with a LeBron James event.” Essentially, you’re paying to be best friends with LeBron and people will think you’re cool for that.

As you can see, for just $10,000, you’re getting a lot of benefits. Not only will you maybe get to stand next to LeBron James for a picture celebrating him turning 26, you’ll also get everyone you know who likes looking at pictures of celebrities’ birthday parties to see that you’re down with LeBron James.

All you have to do is call this number to get started. Like I said, it’s only $10,000 and it’s worth every penny. Just don’t forget to bring a gift. You don’t want to be the jerk who forgot to buy LeBron James a present.