The Washington Wizards are bad, no duh. Submit that sentence to the National Conservatory for Obvious Statements, because it surely would necessitate inclusion in the hallowed halls of that building. Nonetheless, it’s true and don’t you forget it.

They’re so bad, in fact, that they’ve yet to win a road game in their first 20 tries. However, at home it’s a different story, as the Wizzinators are 13-9, including a stunning victory over the Boston Celtics this past weekend.

Yes, it’s true. On the strength of a not-at-all-lucky 27-foot bank shot from John Wall, one of the worst teams in the league beat one of the best. ‘Twas a win so magical (sorcery pun) that at least one Wizard thinks it should count as a road win. From the Associated Press:

Beat the Celtics at home on Saturday night? Sure, that was by far their biggest win of the season, but the postgame celebration included tongue-in-cheek appeals to count it as a road win because the rare sellout crowd was so Celtics-friendly.

“This is not a road game? Not a road win for us? This don’t count?” guard Nick Young said. “Man, when they were doing the starting lineups, I thought we was getting booed and they were getting cheers.”

Sounds fair. Despite their big win, it’s doubtful that the Wizards are going to turn things around and go on a road tear. Might as well let them count this as a road victory, considering the hostile crowd. It’s just a nice gesture, and one that will surely be accepted by the NBA’s league office.

Not to mention, if this were counted as a road win, it’d guarantee that the Wiz avoid a few not-so-awesome records. First, they’d assure themselves that they would not break the record for most road losses to start a season (29, 1992-93 Denver Nuggets). Second, they’d also be sure that they wouldn’t tie — ironically — the Baltimore Bullets for worst road winning percentage in a season (.000 in 1954). Having this home win count as a road win would be huge for Washington. Huge.

But alas, it won’t happen. For whatever reason, the NBA insists that home games are home games and road games are road games (unless you’re the Clippers and Lakers then it’s like whatever). Nice try, Nick Young.