Because of his migraines, Dwyane Wade will be wearing tinted glasses to begin tonight’s game. There are a lot of choices out there, so we thought it’d be nice to offer up some suggestions…

Ray-Ban Wayfarers
Pros: Classic, stylish, lightweight, black matches the Heat’s road uniforms
Cons: Everyone has a pair, including LeBron James

Doc Brown’s Time-Traveling Metal Shades
Pros: Excellent eye protection up to 88 mph, blocks 100 percent of migraine-causing bright lights
Cons: Cannot see out of them as they are made of metal

BluBlockers
Pros: Cheap, available at every gas station in America, trendy thanks to “The Hangover”
Cons: Mostly for grandpas, break in about five minutes

Polaroid Camera Glasses
Pros: Can take pictures for immediate film study, created by Lady Gaga, kind of makes you look like Daft Punk
Cons: Probably very heavy, created by Lady Gaga

Shutter Shades
Pros: Lightweight, comes in a variety of colors, Kanye West will think you’re cool
Cons: Played out, does not block migraine-causing bright lights, pretty hard to see out of

Oakley Over-the-Top Sunglasses
Pros: Makes you look like a superhero, effective UV protection, will stay on your noggin during athletic activities
Cons: None

Comments (7)

  1. Maybe he should write to a sunglass manufacturer to complain in order to get a whole set of free shades, like they did on Summer School.

    That was a great movie by the way.

  2. … which of course lead me to look up the following:

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0727037/

    Check out that trivia!

  3. Those Oakleys almost look like he’s wearing a bra for his eyes.

    Maybe they should make some for women, except for their bewbies.

    No moar breast cancer, ftw.

  4. Wow, now that’s some trivia.

  5. The last one would be sick

  6. LOL,

    Do I smell a tumblr site being created right about now :p

  7. Wade should invest in a George La Forge visor! He’d have super powers and dominate every night!

    http://www.countdowntofailure.com/images/d_wade_laforge.jpg

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