What are you doing down there, Blake Griffin? That is not a normal basketball posture. I have watched countless hours of NBA basketball, and not once did I see a guy crouched down low, reaching for the ground while looking back over his shoulder like he’s hiding something. Not once.
Did you find something down there? What was it?
Was it a nickel? Because that would be pretty pointless. You’re making more than $5 million this year, so grabbing another five cents during the course of a basketball game is weird. It’s just a nickel.
Or was it a full-sized Earl Boykins? That at least makes sense. With Eric Gordon out, your team could use some extra scoring from the perimeter. Picking up a tiny guard might help, especially if no one else saw him down there.
Let me guess — it was a toad. My sister used to love finding toads, so I get it. Having a pet is fun. Just don’t let it pee on you. I hear that can burn your skin.
Oh, it was a flower, wasn’t it? Yeah, with Valentine’s Day coming up, freshly picked flowers are a great gift. Only problem is I’m guessing that’ll die since it’s still a week until the big day. Good luck getting it to last. Cut the stem diagonally under warm, running water. That’s supposed to help.
OK, fine — one last guess. Baron Davis dropped the last bite of his Ho Ho and you didn’t want him to eat it because you know how Baron gets with chocolate. Smart. A slender Baron Davis is the best kind. Good looking out.
I don’t know what you found, man, but you seem to be pretty protective of it. I’d have let it wait until after the game, but whatever you want to do is cool with me. You’re the All-Star, after all.