Reggie Evans, quote machine

If you were going to draft a list of the NBA’s most quotatious players, you would probably start by making a snide comment about how “quotatious” isn’t even a real word. But then, after you’ve had your yukks, you’d add guys like Shaquille O’Neal, Ron Artest and Nate Robinson. You would probably have a lot of fun creating this list.

So, since you’re having so much fun making this list, let me offer another name who should be creeping up your rankings: Reggie Evans. Don’t believe me? Well, you will after enjoying his tour de force performance that’s been captured by the Toronto Star.

First, Reggie talked about his soon-to-be-born baby boy, who is very excited to see his daddy.

“He’s dilated like two (centimetres) so he’s kind of ready to come out of there and stuff like that,” Evans said after an intense individual workout after Raptors practice on Monday. “He’s being real aggressive. He’s been giving my wife a lot of problems.”

Kind of like his father?

“I think he’s trying to get out so he can come watch me play. … Probably getting bored inside there.”

Yep, wombs are totally boring. Very warm and comfortable, but a real drag. No TV or anything.

Or how about this, where Reggie is discussing his workout habits.

“I work out here (at the Air Canada Centre) and I go home at nighttime and I may do a little cardio or a little (stationary) bike,” he said. “And then I go in the sauna and I’ll be in there for like 30 minutes and stuff like that. Talking to some of the old people and stuff there.”

Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. And that purpose, of course, is talking to gargantuan NBA power forwards with gigantic beards in a sauna. Good stuff.

But it’s not all jokes and non sequiters with Reggie Evans. He’s also using his pulpit to held fight childhood obesity.

“My weight had got to like 245, 248 so I had to reward myself for doing a good job,” he said. “My daughter … had a big bag of Skittles, she was taking too long to eat it. It was sitting there forever so I killed it.”

No wonder his son is trying to rip his way out of his wife’s body. With a dad who is so committed to the health of his children, that little boy has a lot to look forward to.

And, if I’m not mistaken, you have a few really great reasons to bump Reggie Evans up a few notches on your Most Quotatious list. I’m thinking No. 5 or 6 sounds about right.