Did you know that if you were to dissect Kevin Love, inside of him you would find exactly one million tiny gears, each of which has been engineered by Swiss scientists to score at least 10 points and grab 10 rebounds in each basketball game in which Love plays? It’s true. That’s why he’s a double-double machine. Zing.

He even has an algorhtyhm programmed in to his brain structure that helps to notify him if he is lagging behind his engineered pace. It’s similar to the thermostat in your house, only it’s on the inside of a cyborg rebounder. Last night, on his way to a Timberwolves record 38th straight double-double, it came in handy. From the AP:

Kevin Love was a little annoyed when he glanced at the scoreboard in the second half of Tuesday’s game in Houston and realized he was still short of his usual double-double. [...]

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Love said. “In this one, I was aware, because when you look straight ahead, I kept looking up and trying to get the score. I knew if I had the time, eventually, I was going to get it. It wasn’t bugging me too much.”

Hey, when a guy’s trying to make history, he should know what he’s up against. This isn’t Andray Blatche trying to desperately chase down a rebound to get his first triple-double in the final 30 seconds of a 10-point game . This is a dude realizing he needed to get himself going if he wanted to make history, then scoring 11 points and grabbing four rebounds in the final quarter of a 4-point victory. If that’s selfish, then selfish is cool.

But really, as we learned in the first two paragraphs, this is just science at its best. Kevin Love can’t help grabbing a ton of rebounds and scoring lots of points, just like your coffee maker can’t help brewing you a delicious cup of breakfast blend.