Stan Van Gundy is very good at three things:

  1. Coaching basketball;
  2. Looking hilarious when he’s angry;
  3. Sarcastic quotes that get him fined by the NBA.

Want proof? The Magic have the eighth best record in the NBA. This picture exists. And he got talking yesterday, dropping two excellent quotes about two important league issues. The first is on the Miami Heat, courtesy of the Orlando Sentinel:

“I do chuckle a little bit when they sort of complain about the scrutiny when they get,” Van Gundy said. “My suggestion would be if you don’t want the scrutiny, you don’t hold a championship celebration before you’ve even practiced together. It’s hard to go out yourself and invite that kind of crowd and celebration and attention, and then when things aren’t going well, sort of bemoan the fact that you’re getting that attention. To me, that doesn’t follow.”

Yep — totally right about everything. Moving on to whether or not David Stern is like any of the terrible dictators that have been recently ousted from power. From the AP (via BDL):

“This is the system David Stern and his minions like it,” Van Gundy said. “So that’s the system you have…I certainly can’t have an opinion because David Stern, like a lot or leaders we’ve seen in this world lately, don’t really tolerate other people’s opinion or free speech or anything. So I’m not really allowed to have an opinion. So it’s up to him.

“He decides and he likes the system he has.”

Yikes? Kind of a yikes. Definitely a $20,000 fine, I’d guess. And, as Tom Ziller of SB Nation pointed out, not very accurate. David Stern doesn’t have the requisite mustache and, as far as we know, he hasn’t actually ordered any murders. Sure, he’s suspected of several, but you can’t prove anything. Verdict: Not a dictator, probably.

50 percent accuracy on quotes might not be the best percentage, but that doesn’t change the fact that Stan Van Gundy is a legitimate contender for funniest NBA coach. Kind of like not being able to make free throws shouldn’t exclude Dwight Howard from MVP consideration. Now you see where he gets it from.