Washington Wizards 98, New Jersey Nets 92
Do these teams not understand that now is the time for bad teams to lose games? First, New Jersey goes on a five game winning streak, then the Wizards actually get a win. Whatever happened to tanking?

Atlanta Hawks 104, Detroit Pistons 96
Tracy McGrady, Richard Hamilton and Ben Wallace combined to score 12 points on 19 shots. Haven’t watched any Pistons games in a while, but I’m assuming they’re just skeletons now. Just bones running around, trying to play basketball. Stats like that make it seem feasible.

Milwaukee Bucks 100, New York Knicks 95
Hey, the Knicks — you need to score more than nine points in the first quarter if you want to win the game, even against the Bucks. Oh, by the way, you gave up 100 points to the Bucks, something they’ve only done 14 times in non-overtime games. Two of them have been against you in the past month. Get it together.

Phoenix Suns 108, Los Angeles Clippers 99
Here’s what Marcin Gortat had to say about his game-sealing charge take: “I was just standing there, and I hoped he wasn’t going to crush my face.” Good thoughts.

Sacramento Kings 127, Minnesota Timberwolves 95
After DeMarcus Cousins was ejected for pushing Martell Webster, the Kings went on a 21-0 run, basically winning the game right then and there. Considering the player, this might be an effective strategy for Sacramento.

Houston Rockets 110, Utah Jazz 108
Don’t look now, but the Rockets are only a game-and-a-half out of the last playoff seed in the West. Plus, they’ve won four straight games and six of their last eight. Actually, do look now, because all these statistics will be irrelevant after tonight.

Toronto Raptors 95, Oklahoma City Thunder 93
Nice win for the Raptors, who got huge buckets from Leandro Barbosa and Amir Johnson down the stretch. Which is weird, because those guys were both notable offseason moves for the Raps (Barbosa acquired via trade and Johnson signed to a large contract) and those rarely pan out in Toronto. Linas Kleiza knows what I’m talking about.

Dallas Mavericks 101, Golden State Warriors 73
Peja Stojakovic made five threes despite the fact that it is no longer 2004. Interesting.

Los Angeles Lakers 84, Portland Trail Blazers 80
You’re not going to believe this, but the Los Angeles Lakers made the playoffs this year, clinching their berth yesterday. Pop champagne, y’all.