After a disastrous 2009-10 season that saw the Washington Wizards finish tied for the fourth-fewest wins in the NBA, the Wizards are worse this year. Very Wizards of them, I know. On pace for just 19 wins — third-worst in the league — and with just one road victory to date, the Wizards are on track to tie the team’s worst record since the franchise moved to Washington in 1963. A record’s a record.

Why has this season been so bad? There are a lot of reasons, from new players to young players to a way smaller payroll. But really, there’s only one reason, which Flip Saunders was more than happy to elucidate. From the AP:

“We’re not good enough,” Wizards coach Flip Saunders said.

“That can be frustrating. But that’s like if I run you in a race I’m going to probably beat you all 10 times because you’re not as fast as me,” Saunders joked. “Same thing right now. We’re just young and not as talented as the teams we’re playing.”

Ha. Flip “Cool Runnings” Saunders over here, challenging reporters to races over here, because he’s so fast. Mr. Fast. Good one, Flip.

But really, he’s right. If you were going to describe the Washington Wizards to someone who’d never watched basketball, you’d tell that person that they’re not good. Their core players are either too young, too flawed or too Rashard Lewis. That’s probably why city columnists are calling for everyone on the team not named John Wall to leave, including Flip. The Wizards are a yikes festival, and everyone’s invited.

In fact, here is a solution to fix the Wizards’ roster — anyone who can beat Flip Saunders in a race gets to play for the team next year. He’s the fastest man in the DMV, and you can’t teach speed. It’s a start.