I’m going to be honest with you right now. There are no good games tonight. Sure, they might turn out OK and they might be fun to watch, but looking at these games is pretty sad. No games between playoff teams and only two postseason entrants of the eight squads playing tonight. Basically, to quote me, yikes festival.

Miami Heat at Cleveland Cavaliers
This one’s the story of the night, you know with the LeBron James and the Zydrunas Ilgauskas and all that action. As for the game, c’mon.

Golden State Warriors at Oklahoma City Thunder
This one’s the one that might be pretty fun if the Warriors decide not to be terrible for the night. Don’t bet on it.

Phoenix Suns at Sacramento Kings
This one’s the game that might be 126-124, which would be great. But probably not. Probably like 102-88.

Houston Rockets at New Jersey Nets
This one’s the one that might actually matter for the postseason, because a Rockets win would move them to two games out of the last Western Conference playoff spot. That being said, it’s still a Rockets/Nets game.

1000 Ways to Die (Spike — 10pm ET)
Spoiler alert: four of them are watching tonight’s game.