Last night, the Chicago Bulls honored Scottie Pippen with a commemorative bust in a classic double teapot pose. It was a nice way to honor a guy who has been a huge part of the franchise since his acquisition in 1987. Sure, he had stints with the Rockets and Blazers, but he was always a Bull, as evidenced by his return to the team in 2003, his subsequent hiring as a team ambassador and his kind of too-serious performances on the Chicago team in the All-Star Shooting Stars competitions.
Only problem is his bust, which doesn’t really capture the essence of Scottie Pippen. For one, he’s just standing there, when in reality it always seemed like Pippen was moving. For two, it only kind of looks like him.
In fact, it looks more like any of these guys than Scottie Pippen:
- All of Scottie Pippen’s children combined.
- 45-year-old Scottie Pippen, rather than 25-year-old Scottie Pippen.
- Bill Cosby.
- Nicolas Cage in “Adaptation.”
- From TBJ commenter “rassan”: Black Jerry Sloan.
- A model from a Kohl’s catalog who would be wearing a yellow plaid shirt.
- Nipsey Russell.
- Skinny Jon Favreau, with his hair from “I Love You, Man.”
- Some guy who is fake smiling because he doesn’t get the joke but wants to fit in.
- Hilary Swank (mouth only).
- Owen Wilson (nose only).
- 1989 A.C. Green (hair only).
- Someone named Gus or Carmen.
I’m sure there are other likenesses, because this just isn’t very Scottie Pippen. If you’ve got any suggestions, throw in the comments.