Michael Jordan is arguably the most famous athlete in the entire world. Between his lengthy career, successful shoe and clothing lines and recognizable looks, he’s known around the world and has been for years. This is obvious.

Also obvious is Charlie Sheen’s once-burgeoning popularity. For a minute there, Charlie Sheen was the biggest thing going in entertainment, because people love seeing other people fall apart. He is the Michael Jordan of celebrity meltdowns.

So, it stands to reason that these two famous people would have a lot in common, since famous people always hang out with other famous people. In fact, it wouldn’t be crazy to assume that these two have some sort of relationship, especially considering they worked together on all those weird Hanes ads. I mean, these are two guys who love to party, have lots of money and want you to buy their underwear. Great friendships have been built on less.

But no. Don’t even think about it. Even Michael Jordan doesn’t want to be lumped in with that wackjob. From the Charlotte Observer’s Tom Sorensen:

Michael, I ask, were you surprised by Charlie’s implosions and have you reached out to him?

“I, I, I mean I don’t even know how to respond to that one,” says Jordan. “I’ve had a lot of other things on my mind – winning. So my relationship with Charlie is not one where we communicate that way. I did a commercial with him two, three years ago.”

But after a long day on the set, weren’t there beers, parties, Hollywood hanging out?

“I haven’t spent any time with Charlie,” Jordan says, laughing. “Don’t put me there.”

Oh, so those ads where Jordan totally blows off Sheen are mini-documentaries? Cool. Very cinéma vérité. Very Maysles.

But really, I love this. Michael Jordan, a man who is more than OK with everyone thinking he’s a vindictive jerk who only cares about himself, is asked about hanging out with Charlie Sheen and is like, “Nope. No way. Don’t want any part of that.” If Michael Jordan — he of the all-night gambling binges between playoff games — thinks you are too crazy, then you probably need to take a relaxi cab all the way back to Normaltown.

That being said, Jordan did mention that he’d love to get his hands on some of those “Two and a Half Men” bowling shirts. No, not really, but you have to imagine he thinks they’re a great look.