As if the potential for a lockout wasn’t jarring enough for NBA fans, David Stern revealed the next stage in his plan to increase the influence of international basketball on the NBA in this radio interview with 790 “The Ticket” in Miami:

“Well I’m going to urge the owners — and it’s not very radical but we were talking about it for awhile — to adopt the international rule on basket interference. That is to say, once the ball hits the rim it’s in play. Because I think that it’s too hard to call. I think that we don’t want to stop the game every time to see if it’s the right call, but the camera that looks down on the basket can tell the story if the refs have gotten it right. And it’s just impossible to call to make whether the ball’s touching the rim, on the rim, off the rim or the like.  And I think that would make the game faster, better, and less controversial.”

I don’t know about y’all, but I personally feel like this idea is, how you say, “pour les chiens.” Basketball may have been invented by a Canadian but the good ol’ U-S-of-A perfected it and I don’t cotton to Mr. Stern’s un-American machinations. I suspect that if this rule passes, he’ll then start pushing for the NBA to implement that weird trapezoid key and that goofy multi-colored ball. Next thing you know, you’ll see bidets instead of urinals in the washrooms of NBA arenas and Hedo Turkoglu will start chain-smoking unfiltered cigarettes on the Orlando bench.

On the other hand, I suppose the upside to this rule is that it would drastically increase Hasheem Thabeet’s odds of having a viable NBA career. Bummer of a silver lining.