As if the potential for a lockout wasn’t jarring enough for NBA fans, David Stern revealed the next stage in his plan to increase the influence of international basketball on the NBA in this radio interview with 790 “The Ticket” in Miami:

“Well I’m going to urge the owners — and it’s not very radical but we were talking about it for awhile — to adopt the international rule on basket interference. That is to say, once the ball hits the rim it’s in play. Because I think that it’s too hard to call. I think that we don’t want to stop the game every time to see if it’s the right call, but the camera that looks down on the basket can tell the story if the refs have gotten it right. And it’s just impossible to call to make whether the ball’s touching the rim, on the rim, off the rim or the like.  And I think that would make the game faster, better, and less controversial.”

I don’t know about y’all, but I personally feel like this idea is, how you say, “pour les chiens.” Basketball may have been invented by a Canadian but the good ol’ U-S-of-A perfected it and I don’t cotton to Mr. Stern’s un-American machinations. I suspect that if this rule passes, he’ll then start pushing for the NBA to implement that weird trapezoid key and that goofy multi-colored ball. Next thing you know, you’ll see bidets instead of urinals in the washrooms of NBA arenas and Hedo Turkoglu will start chain-smoking unfiltered cigarettes on the Orlando bench.

On the other hand, I suppose the upside to this rule is that it would drastically increase Hasheem Thabeet’s odds of having a viable NBA career. Bummer of a silver lining.

Comments (21)

  1. Love the Flight of the Conchords reference.

  2. As a German I must say: European rules stink for the most par. The stupid posession arrow, the charge rule, the pivoting… But this one seems like quiete a good idea to me, because, let’s face it, the use of replay is just becomming more and more sillier. Often you can call it with Braille, but the refs go to the table anyways. So if it smoothens the game, do it.

  3. Aahhhhh, Gerard Depardieu

  4. i dont know what youre complaining about carefoot, this is a great idea that decreases the amount of whining people can do about “in the cylinder” tip ins. its such a difficult call to make, and really decreases the number of eye popping tip dunks we get to see.

  5. Just like @Irwin said – love it!

    And I am starting to indentify more and more with you guys – first all of “The Wire” alussions(by the way – the best TV show EVER! : ), and now Flight of the Conchords..

    I’m waiting for more! :)

    BTW. I would love to hear your oher favorit TB shows, music bands etc., and I think I’am not the only one…

  6. guhzelle: I’m not really upset about this, I just wanted to take advantage of an opportunity to put Tony Parker in a beret.

  7. FINALLY!!! So many more putbacks!!

  8. But then how many freakishly athletic defenders like Dwight or J Smoove would just go swiping at the ball once it hits the rim? In Europe I guess it is OK because the guys doing between the legs alley-oops in shootaround are quite a few?! How many shots go directly in, nothing but net? Not all of them :) So what will stop guys that have no problem getting up to the top of the square to just jump and knock the ball loose every time it bounces off the rim?

  9. Dude, I speak french, it’s sacrebleu in one word. Although we never say that in Quebec, it’s typically french from France.

    And we do have a trapezoid key in Quebec as well, at least in elementary and high school.

  10. Your jokes would be funny if they were remotely accurate:

  11. that “weird trapezoid key” is a thing of the past – FIBA switched to the rectangular key last year. its a two way process – FIBA and the NBA are both modifying rules to bring the 2 much closer (the international 3 point line was pushed further out last year as well).

    but hey, who needs research…

  12. Yeah, what andrew the former bogut hater said.

    Factcheck is bitch.

  13. What, you mean a satirical article clearly designed to poke fun at Europe rather than being a legitimate analysis of the convergence of FIBA and NBA rules *isn’t* 100% factually accurate?

    I’m astonished. What next, The Onion not a reliable news source?

  14. Seriously, when I see a Photoshop’d pic of Tony Parker in a beret, I expect an article that reads like a encyclopedia. I can’t believe no one has pointed out the lack of references, how dare you Mr. Carefoot!

  15. I love the NBA and most things about it. But you are clearly a stereotypical uneducated racist amercan fuck head. Fuck you and this article.

  16. @ Dave, pretty sure these guys are all Canadian. but way to bring out your own prejudices, fuck head. fuck you and the horse you rode in on?

  17. a joke generally doesn’t work if the subject of it doesn’t exist. plus i’d wager good money most nba fans weren’t even aware that the trapezoidal lane was toast. the more you know…

  18. Nba euroed up means 100% more flopping as if it wasn’t bad as it is

  19. Das: You are correct in assuming that I’m as Canadian as maple syrup and inferiority complexes. I was just trying to have some fun with this post playing an “ignorant American” character, and I know that FIBA switched to a rectangular key in October.

  20. Never again would we see the ball spin around the rim before dropping in or falling out. A classic part of the game, the anticipation of the ball that is hanging on the rim, would be gone.

    I hate you David Stern.

  21. EXACTLY what Ken just said!!!

    I hate this rule… Centers would just poke any ball that hangs on the rim for more than a bounce… Absolutely insane.

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