LeBron James caused quite the stir-fry with his “finishing our breakfast” quote yesterday when talking about the Heat closing out their series with the 76ers. Though it was really just a co-opting of Jay-Z’s “Public Service Announcement,” people got salty. Spencer Hawes questioned the accuracy of such an analogy, while Louis Williams started giving out breakfast nicknames to all of his teammates. All in all, pretty great responses to a pretty good quote. Well done, everyone.
But that wasn’t the end. No way. Since the Heat beat the Sixers, that meant it was time for a second helping of delicious food metaphors. LeBron was the first to step up to the dinner plate. From Brian Windhorst:
“Now we’re preparing for lunch, I guess.”
OK, sure. Pretty much had to say that.
But taken to the extreme, LeBron might be embarrassed that he didn’t plan this out like a fancy dinner party. Because if the Sixers were breakfast and the Celtics are lunch, that makes the Eastern Conference finals supper, which in turn makes the NBA Finals Taco Bell’s Fourth Meal and no one wants that. So based on this off-hand comment, I think it’s safe to say LeBron doesn’t care about getting an NBA championship because he basically thinks it’s terrible Mexican food. Case closed.
However, LeBron wasn’t the only one enjoying the taste of a finely-crafted culinary comparison. Here’s Elton Brand, using food as a way to explain how the 76ers played hard in Game 5. From the Philadelphia Daily News:
“Hey, it was a long buffet,” said Elton Brand, who also scored 22. “We fought them all the way.”
Yep, Elton Brand, you guys are the continental breakfast of the NBA. Dry pastries, pans full of hours-old bacon and a surprisingly robust selection of oatmeal mix-ins — the Philadelphia 76ers are all of that. (Andre Iguodala is the omelette counter because he’s the Sixers’ best player.) As far as I’m concerned, that’s a huge compliment. They may not have won their series, but leaving the postseason as the NBA’s answer to the best meal of the day is nothing to sneeze at.
Even more hilarious, however, was that the elaborate food puns were so contagious that the Associated Press’ Tim Reynolds couldn’t help getting in on the action.
Maybe it was no coincidence that James was nearly held to another breakfast food—a bagel, otherwise known as 0 points—in the first half. He had only three points at intermission, matching his playoff career low, and the stage was set for another down-to-the-wire night.
Nor could the Philadelphia Daily News’ Marcus Hayes:
For a group of guys sitting down to breakfast, the Heat didn’t play hungry. But they managed to choke down the win. [...]
Breakfast was poached Sixers.
But was it the breakfast of champions?
Breakfast was a little too chewy.
Lunch comes next.
It’s times like these that we need Fire Joe Morgan. And also some waffles. See you guys at IHOP.