It is playoff time, which means health is of the utmost importance. Which means someone needs to tell Shawn Marion to be more careful. From the Dallas Morning News:

Shawn Marion is sporting three stitches over his right eye, an injury from the Portland series _ or rather, after the Game 6 finale, when he accidentally butted head with a glass door while leaving the team hotel. [...]

“I got into a battle with a glass door and the glass door won. I’m being serious. It was an accident. I was in a rush, trying to get on the bus and I slipped. I had my (sun) glasses on and it cut my eye. [...]

“Have you ever seen that Windex commercial? That’s in some ways how it happened. I slipped going up the stairs . . . You’ve got two doors where you can leave on that first level. Instead of me going to the left, I went to the right and that door was closed. I had my bags and my water in my hands . . . and I broke my glasses. I was more (ticked) about my glasses.”

Sorry, Derrick Rose cutting himself with a knife while eating an apple in bed, we have a new best NBA injury. Just a classic case of windows being too clean, stairs being too slippery and sunglasses being too sharp. Could have happened to anyone, as long as they are costarring in “The Whole Nine Yards.” Ask Justin Bieber. He knows these dangers all too well.

Oh, and if you’re thinking of a “The Matrix” joke, it goes down below. Definitely some laughs to be mined from that rich vein of comedy gold. Grab your LOL-stractors and let’s hear ‘em.