What is everyone up to August 18-21? Just seeing if you’re all free because I think we should all meet at Dwyane Wade’s Fantasy Camp. It’s going to be great.

We’ll get to play basketball with Dwyane and his buddy Charles Barkley. Erik Spoelstra’s going to be there to teach us the double teapot. We’ll be given all kinds of Jordan Brand stuff, from shoes to jerseys to sandals. We’ll get to kick it in a gorgeous hotel in Miami. We can even bring our own teams, which means we can form Team Skates and Team Tom when we’re down there. It’s going to be so much fun.

One problem — it’s a little expensive. The fee for the four day camp is $12,500 a person. That’s a new Hyundai, in case you’re wondering. No biggie though. If you start fundraising now — selling candy bars, discount cards, magazine subscriptions or whatever — you can earn that in no time. It is totally worth it, especially considering you get to bring a guest to watch you play. That means your significant other gets to see just how great of an NBA player you would be, if not for all those ankle sprains back in high school. I’m not guaranteeing anything, but this could seriously reignite some flames, if you catch my drift.

So yeah, let’s do this. I’m not 35, and therefore not eligible, but I feel like I’ve got enough grey hairs to fool the admissions people. Besides, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Who knows if it’ll be the best weekend of our lives, but I wouldn’t bet against it. See you down there.

(via Darren Rovell)